Visa Power !

A top Indian Scientists Visa to the US was rejected by the the consular officer (CO) after he "submitted him to intense scrutiny, accused him of hiding things and being a danger to America and denied his visa pending further review." Newspaper Report.

Now, one cannot entirely blame the US for putting Visa restriction on Indian scientists, due to their notorious misdeeds in the past. There is no smoke without a fire and we should stop the self righteous indignation over the above incident. Let me tell you about an incident that happened in the year 2001. This incident is the reason why strict checks and measures are now being applied on Indian scientists.

US Embassy, New Delhi. An Indian Scientist is giving in his Visa application papers to the Consular Officer.

Consular Officer (CO) (looking intently at the Indian scientist): So you are a chemist?
Indian Scientist (IS): Yes Sir.
CO: You dispense medicines?
IS:No no, I don’t dispense medicines.
CS: But it says here that you are a chemist.
IO (patiently ):Well... I am not that type of a chemist, I am a Research Scientist
CO: And I am Brad Pitt ha ha ha...I am afraid I have to reject your Visa application because you have provided false information.
CO: Next !!!!!!


CO(to next applicant): Why do you want to go to the US?
Applicant: I am going to learn to fly plane.
CO: Ah !!! A student I see. Have a nice stay in the US . Do check out the World Trade Centre and Pentagon while you are there.
Applicant: I have already done that you infidel !!!

CO(to next applicant): And why do you want to go to the US young man?
Applicant (happily): To learn to fly plane.
CO: That seems to be a popular course. I suppose you will get a big job as a pilot in some big airline after that yeah?
Applicant(beaming): No my leader says I will get 14 virgins in heaven.
CO: er... sure...

CO(to next applicant): Hello Mr. O’Sammy, And why do you want to go to the US?
O’Sammy: Because I hate the Yankee infidels.
CO: Well...I am no great fan of The Yankees myself...hmmm your name seems kinda familiar.
O’Sammy: It is the English version of my name you dimwit !
CO: hmmm You also look different in your photo Mr O’Sammy.
O’Sammy: Because I have shaved my beard you moron.
CO: Ah! And you hair seems kinda different too.
O’Sammy: That is because I have removed the scarf you pig!
CO: And what is that bulge in your side ?
O’Sammy (patting the Grenade and looking menacingly): That is something for you if I don’t get the Visa grrrrr
CO(taken aback): Jeez, what’s with the attitude!!! Have a nice stay in the US Mr. O’Sammy.
O’Sammy(shouting): Hail Holy War !!!!
CO( muttering to himself): Holy war indeed, bet you he can’t swat a fly if he wanted to $@%@^&

The Indian Scientist now decides to give a last ditch attempt at getting his Visa. He oils his hair with coconut oil, combs his hair neatly and steps up confidently.

Scientist: Good Morning ! I yam an Indian scientist. I yam highly qualified. I do not need much resources to make weapons of mass destruction. I can make a bomb with a shoelace and an empty Ice Cream cup. In fact if your country is facing a cash crunch I can manage with the shoe lace alone.And if you were to add a empty packet of Lays I would be able to able to make a Hydrogen Bomb too. Isn't it simbly amazing !!

CO: Interesting ! What is your name?

Scientist: Venkatachalpathaiah Muthueswaran Sivasubramanian Rao.

CO types in the name , the computer goes * boink * , then crashes taking the entire network of computers in the US, the lights in the embassy start flickering and Air Force One makes an emergency landing. The only message on the now black monitor is “Operating system found dead”.

Scientist: Aiyyo.



CO: grrrrrrrrrrrrr NEXT !!!!!!

I rest my case.