Monday, June 06, 2005

World Environment Day!

One weekend I received a package by courier. It was a tastefully packed wooden Cosmetic box with ‘Natural’ cosmetics guaranteed to make me look like Mother Earth er...I mean Miss Earth. The dainty bottles were laid on a bed of ‘specially made’ straw. There was a note inside which said that I had won these soul pampering goodies for the best "Letter to the Editor” mail I had sent to a women’s magazine god knows when. I gingerly placed the box and its contents on a table. I had visions of pampering my feet with the Eucalyptus Salts, washing my hair with the ‘gentle’ shampoo made from Himalayan Pine and then anointing my face with the Chamomile Cream. All guaranteed natural of course. I left for a friend’s house in the afternoon blissfully overlooking the fact that the house was jam packed with brats, side effects of cousins from the ’native’ staying with us.

When I came back in the evening, I saw my precious wooden box lying on the floor, with all the bottles broken and the house smelling a like a phenyl factory. The brats were of course stomping on the box and still running around. Clenching my teeth I took the remnants of the box and threw it into the trash bucket outside.

Fast forward one month: My maid delivers the news one morning that a squirrel’s nest had fallen off the tree. And inside the nest were a two baby squirrels still alive after the fall. She had picked them up to avoid my dogs from making a mid day snack of the tiny creatures. The babies looked cute and smelt like ……..Himalayan pine, Eucalyptus and Chamomile!!!!!!! Strange…. I smelt them again. It was definitely Himalayan pine, Chamomile and Eucalyptus. Now either I had a nasal abnormality or this creature’s Mommy had won a prize too from the same woman’s magazine. Then I remembered, that mommy squirrel had made her nest from the straw that was inside the cosmetic box. That explained the smell.

By afternoon the babies were looking sick and the vet was called in a hurry. He said that babies were showing all signs of toxic poisoning. And his surmise was that the now foul smelling babies had either fallen into a cauldron of toxic chemicals or had eaten some pesticides laced berries. He advised me to leave them be so that they could die in peace.

Fast-forward two weeks: The squirrels babies are now competing with the brats (still in the house) to break, smash and shake the house to its foundations. They definitely smell better. The Vet was surprised that they had survived and remarked facetiously that I had raised a bunch of rodents who were now resistant to toxic chemicals! He mournfully recounted his battles with new generation bacteria’s and viruses that were so chemical and antibiotic savvy that they could actually teach our poor laboring scientists a thing or two!

So, on this World Environment Day I dedicate this blog to all those creatures and germs who were lost to environmental pollution (the good ones) and to those who survived (the bad ones). And to the brats in my house who rescued me from an unnatural death / disfigurement by using the ‘Natural’ cosmetics that I had gotten as a prize for writing about Environmental Pollution (now I remember!).

24 comments:

anish said...

you should be prosecuted for endangering the natural habitats of wildlife with your "poisonous" writing!!

atleast i am hoping that you will be persecuted by maneka gandhi and her ilk.

cheerio
anish

silverine said...

Thank you Anish for your kind comments which I had to goad out of you anyway. So you do know the formula for acidic writing after all?

Jake said...

imagine if you had used what came in the box ... woulda have been Mother Earth ..
hahaha ..LOL!

Praveen said...

Thats a noble thought, I am talking about your last para dedication. I join you in this.

Matter of Choice said...

ahem...i am on a learning curve. with your expert guidance i shuld become an expert soon :)

Anoop MohanKumar said...

Damn those kids... if it was not for them we would have had a new villain;
"Kaliamma Muthukumari"--the Chemical Rani; born from contamination by "NATURAL BEAUTY".
[just like, in a batman episode]

two ugly horns, pair of long dirty tooth; longest ever tail spit at the end with blow holes that spit those "NATURAL" cosmetics and green scales all over the body. Screams like Anjali (that's my sis)oohhhh....

jay menon said...

Next time don't write anything abt AIDS day or father's day.....I really cant imagine what gift u will get for tht ;)

Jiby said...

woh...maybe u missed a great chance to sue the mag for millions or to be the postergal in the fight against the numerous "genuine" natural products in the market!

Sachin said...

Had you used the chemicals,am sure you would def have become atleast Earth ( Read "History" if that don't work for ye )if not Mother or Miss !! You oughta sue the MAG girl !
I am surprised at hw the girls can actually put on such stuff and still survive ( 'fcourse after having scared the living daylights out of others :-) )

Living_dead said...

geezz....damn sharp wit u got! The gift from the editor is insignificant to the gift of wit u got from Him. just love your articulation! someday i will marry a girl like you. r u married...just asking.

silverine said...

@jake: No I think I would have been six feet under Mother Earth

@Praveen: thank you, we shud all do our bit for our Earth mommy!

@Anoop: (sigh) To think that Icame so close to being "Kaliamma Muthukumari" the CHEMICAL RANI and drat...I lost the chance

@jiby and sachin: If you have noticed most prizes are courtesy some cosmetic company and not the mag.So no moolah to be sued out of the mag:(

@jay: LOL i shudder to think of the consequences

@Living dead:Thank you and No

Jake said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
sumandatta said...

if i hadnt seen ur profile i wudnt hav guessed u r into advertising...in fact i thought quite the opposite!
1) 'reverse type' on ur blog - white on black - ogilvy wud hav killed u if he had been alive!
2)Lack of attention to details. 'Edit-me' links on the right.(why dont u remove them or put somethng there? i volunteer my blog :-) )

but then u write well..cant complain abt tht!

jay menon said...

y didnt u "reject" tht guyz proposal???? hez already livin dead....u r killing him again

silverine said...

Hi Suman Datta: I though u wud have guessed it by now. I am one of those copywriters who don't carry their "attention to details" into their blogs. Bloggin is copywriter heaven!!!!!! I mean I dont have to bother about typos, language , grammar and no marketing guys breathing down my neck...man I wish I could do this for a living! In fact I am seriously thinking of making typos in future blogs as a 'thumbs down' to Ogilvy ( whom, I must hasten to add I admire majorly)

Thanks for dropping by and ur from advtg I guess?? Probably a Creative Director who skims copy with a fine tooth comb to kick copywriter butts!!! :)

jay menon said...

hey I am planning to become a creative director.....r u sure tht those ppl can kick butts ;)

Pradeep said...

That's life!!!

chanakya said...

Thank You Thank you. Same reasons as yours when i choose the name. Fav character out of history and because i was so pathetic at aoe that i had to come up with better tactics to defeat my enemies and hence the name :P

ahha but for the pjs its my friend all the way. I have unfortunately been unable to contribute to that blog for a long time. PS what are the names of the babies(squirrels i mean)?

sumandatta said...

hey silverine
yeah i know wht u mean
in fact i chanced upon a blog
of a journalist who is so happy 2 b free to write anythng ( "No editorial blue-pencilling" he says :-) samanth.blogspot.com)

i guess blogs are provin to b a gr8 way 4 chillin and in ways revolting against one's job. :-)

chanakya said...

oh yeah and my ranting blog actually is

http://thegreatchanakya.blogspot.com/

jay menon said...

oyeee sweet
dont u think its high time u shud stop washing and write a new post....otherwise ur blog will start stinking with those chemicals

sumandatta said...

off topic:
this author on my online magazine is "blackmailing" me! she's put up Part I of a delightful story and says she'll only put up Part II if she gets enough comments asking her to do so :-) !
I desperately need to read th rest of the story....so wud u all "plz" giv it a read and comment if u will for part II? for me...plz? pass this on if u can too...

btw the story is on vibeshorts.blogspot.com

jay menon said...

heyy..my new post is on n blogdrive

Diana Crabtree said...

Hi Silver!

I found your blog from a comment on OG's.

Funny post!

Diana