Monday morning and mail from HR. There is going to be meetings (ominous tidings). The whole co will be divided into 10 member groups and a moderator (a senior manager of course) will chair these meetings. These meetings will be called “Awaaz’.
Essential gear for these meetings:
· At least 3 new viable product or service ideas.
· At least three new suggestions to improve our working life,
· At least three wasted hours when we could be chatting on various messengers.
My turn came this Friday at 3 pm with 9 other ‘Einsteins’. We meet at ‘Everest’ (the conference room), which is on the ground floor because ‘Godavari’ which is on a higher elevation is occupied.
Moderator: KG, so what product or service suggestions have you thought for us?
KG ( a sales guy): “I was thinking…and thinking and thinking whole night. I thought we should have a sensor for car drivers !!! ( he exclaims triumphantly). Every time the driver falls asleep the sensor will beep.”
Moderator ( sarcastically): Ahem… in case you haven't noticed we make components and not sensors, and anyway what parameters will these sensors work on?
KG: “ When the drivers head leans to the right… the sensor will go BEEP and when the drivers head leans to the right the sensor will go BEEP. And when the .........
VS: okay. But I won’t get into trouble naa? Promise? Okay! Why don’t we make something that will help in the detection of hidden Video Cams? I mean when I go to pee I am always afraid someone is observing me.
Moderator: Ahem… interesting suggestion (a little desperately) NEEEEXT!!!
BB: Why don’t we make devices that will check adulteration in wheat flour” I mean these #^%$#% traders are always mixing rice flour with wheat flour!
MM: My wife always burns the toast so why don’t we.....
RK( interrupting him): Oh no not the toast whine again!!!!!!! For Gods sake why don’t you hire a guy to blow a whistle when your toast is ready? Cheaper than buying a new toaster I say!!!!
MM shuts up.
Moderator: People...people....please calm down...
CS: How about a component in a mobile that uses the power of another mobile to send messages?
HC: Ha Ha Ha . That’s what I call power theft in broad daylight. Ha ha ha.
CS glares at HC who oblivious to CS is SMS’ing his girlfriend with the joke.
Moderator dialing 110: “Glory? Please get me on the train to Delhi tonight ! I MUST leave tonight.
Meanwhile MS is desperately trying to peep into the Moderators laptop where he is entering our ‘suggestions’ for the record.
He manages to get a peek and and turns to us in glee and whispers hoarsely, “He is playing Solitaire!!!!
The Moderator glares at MS.
Tuesday morning and mail from HR: “Due to unavailability of the moderator, who is proceeding on long leave, we have to regretfully terminate the ‘Awaaz’ programme. Thank you all for your delighful suggestions!”