Proselytizing for Bacchus and clients

I dragged my carcass to work today after an interesting night with Rum and Cola, Vodka and Peach Schnapps, Gin and Sprite: not necessarily in that order (hic). These Internships are a bummer. I dare not open my mouth for fear of sanitizing the floor where I sit with alcohol fumes. But I am sure the cop at Infant Jesus circle could smell me through my helmet. Never again I swore, will I touch a drop of Bacchus’ elixir. Alas alack! These resolutions however, last only for the duration of the hangover.

I gingerly lower myself into my seat and wince at the sharp twinges that run through my raw nerves.{ Now now… I am not a recovering alcoholic. It is just that I have friend’s who swear by their brand of poison and come weekend try to win over converts like me with a zeal that would put a Christian proselytizist to shame}

I sit on the floor where a fair number of marketing guys also occupy various cubicles. (Now these cubicles are for decoration purposes only and are rarely occupied). They are a lively and aggressive lot who will not hesitate to tear each other out at the drop of a client’s name. They are fiercely competitive and happily poach on each others clients. Year end sees them hopping around like sad frogs desperate to meet the year end sales target. There is this small open space thoughtfully laid out for them by the Admin dept. (after numerous complaints from other departments), where they bash each others brains out whenever a client is struck. ( no pun intended).

A stapler lands in my cubicle, narrowly missing my head.
Biff! “saale kuthe” ( loosely translated this mean – brother-in-law dog), “how dare you approach my client? You know very well that I have already given him a demo?”

Sock!!!! “ Gadhe" ( donkey)Your client, my foot! I had approached him last year itself!”
SOCK! THUD! And another good man bites the floor.

My head is pounding. I spot the Finance Manager. Beseech him to allocate funds for a roof over my cubicle. He looks at me severely and says he does not have the budget. I crawl outside and get my helmet.

-Abey gadhe ki dhum ( hey donkey’s tail) how dare you go through my mail!!
-Poda patti ( go dog), “evinde thalel oru ennam kodukaan thonnunu” ( no translation needed)
-oye, you don’t speak in your language. I know what you are saying.
-Avanuku moolai ae ella, muttal!!! ( he has no brains, fool!)
-arey bhai, mera client lay gaya woh! ( hey brother, he took my client)
-ondhu dina, naa avanna kolo thene.( translation withheld)

Aaahhh! It’s Monday and notwithstanding the headache, it’s good to be back. Disregard my earlier observations about Internships.

I swallow a couple of Crocins. I think I will go insane if I were put in saner surroundings.