The last to last State elections was the first time I had voted. I had my brand new Voters ID card that said that I, Miss Anfadi Phitik was a legitimate voter. I was so proud! My Dad had got his Voter ID card too after sitting in front of the camera at the Election Office and saying his name aloud for 5678 times for four consecutive years. Finally they got the camera working and now he too has a card that says that Mr Phitik is a registered Indian voter.
So I, along with my mom Mrs Lolma Photik ( Leelamma Philip) and my neighbors Mrs Sraksmi ( Mrs. Srilakshmi) and Mrs. Suchla Ree ( Sujatha Rao) went to vote at this government school near my house. The queue outside the polling booth was short. However the queue outside the office that had the Voters List was serpentine. Mr. Harass Joker ( Harish Jadhav) a friend of my dad was pretty agitated. He claimed that his name and that of his wife’s Mrs Soti Jujhave ( Sita Jadhav) were not in the electoral Rolls. His children Atal ( Anil) and Hosita (Hrishita) were also excluded from the list.
I spotted the uncle from the lane behind our house coming towards us. He was fuming. He claimed that the Election Office was trying to hitch a certain Hathi Kumti around his neck. He was already married to Mrs. Hita Kumari. He was so upset that he went home without voting. Mrs. Hathi Kumti err I mean Mrs. Hita Kumari did vote like a good citizen when the officer on duty told her that she need not worry about the name Hathi Kumti and vote under her Serial Number. So did the rest of us.
Elsewhere another drama was happening. Mrs. Lilly Kuriakose was seen chasing her husband around the school demanding to know who Lly Kurkure was. According to the Voter List he was married to a Mrs. Lly Kurkure. The couple was advised to go for counseling by a sympathetic Polling Officer. He even gave them the name of a Marriage Counselor. Apparently Mr Jain Daze (John D’Souza) is a very successful marriage counselor. Last heard Mr. and Mrs. Kuriakose are yet to find Mr. Jain Daze and Mrs. Lily has filed for divorce as this year the voters list says that Mr. Kuriakose is married to a Mrs. Polly Lurkose.
My maid Lakshmi is pragmatic. She says that in the last elections she voted as 'Lakmi', this year she will vote as 'Lookme' and hopefully by the next elections her name would have transformed to a decent 'Leksmi'. She is optimistic. I am not.
p.s. Please vote even if the sight of your name in the voters list makes you flinch.