Monday, April 20, 2009

Voter ID Complex

The last to last State elections was the first time I had voted. I had my brand new Voters ID card that said that I, Miss Anfadi Phitik was a legitimate voter. I was so proud! My Dad had got his Voter ID card too after sitting in front of the camera at the Election Office and saying his name aloud for 5678 times for four consecutive years. Finally they got the camera working and now he too has a card that says that Mr Phitik is a registered Indian voter.

So I, along with my mom Mrs Lolma Photik ( Leelamma Philip) and my neighbors Mrs Sraksmi ( Mrs. Srilakshmi) and Mrs. Suchla Ree ( Sujatha Rao) went to vote at this government school near my house. The queue outside the polling booth was short. However the queue outside the office that had the Voters List was serpentine. Mr. Harass Joker ( Harish Jadhav) a friend of my dad was pretty agitated. He claimed that his name and that of his wife’s Mrs Soti Jujhave ( Sita Jadhav) were not in the electoral Rolls. His children Atal ( Anil) and Hosita (Hrishita) were also excluded from the list.

I spotted the uncle from the lane behind our house coming towards us. He was fuming. He claimed that the Election Office was trying to hitch a certain Hathi Kumti around his neck. He was already married to Mrs. Hita Kumari. He was so upset that he went home without voting. Mrs. Hathi Kumti err I mean Mrs. Hita Kumari did vote like a good citizen when the officer on duty told her that she need not worry about the name Hathi Kumti and vote under her Serial Number. So did the rest of us.

Elsewhere another drama was happening. Mrs. Lilly Kuriakose was seen chasing her husband around the school demanding to know who Lly Kurkure was. According to the Voter List he was married to a Mrs. Lly Kurkure. The couple was advised to go for counseling by a sympathetic Polling Officer. He even gave them the name of a Marriage Counselor. Apparently Mr Jain Daze (John D’Souza) is a very successful marriage counselor. Last heard Mr. and Mrs. Kuriakose are yet to find Mr. Jain Daze and Mrs. Lily has filed for divorce as this year the voters list says that Mr. Kuriakose is married to a Mrs. Polly Lurkose.

My maid Lakshmi is pragmatic. She says that in the last elections she voted as 'Lakmi', this year she will vote as 'Lookme' and hopefully by the next elections her name would have transformed to a decent 'Leksmi'. She is optimistic. I am not.

p.s. Please vote even if the sight of your name in the voters list makes you flinch.

33 comments:

krishnababu said...

lucky that I did not get to vote yet!!
nice post..

mathew said...

thank god Mr. Harass Joker didnot have a undocumented daughter or son in the rolls...family calamity avoided nonethless!!;-D

Mrs. Polly Lurkose hehe...your names will make a good fit in monty python sketches!!

Parikshith Kumar said...

Daer Ajnali

Tihs si a vrey goodd psot

Eye rally yenjayd eet!

(P.S: Pleej paadan mai inkarect speling. Eye larnt mai Englees fram di Eleksan Komishan onli)

(P.P.S : Pleej wote for mee. Eya m a kandidate. Mai name az per my wotar kard iz Pratikshit Ramuk)

Karthik Sivaramakrishnan said...

Don't remind me of the disaster that is these election offices. My parents, like good responsible citizens, filled out all the redundant bureaucratic paperwork that you have to fill if your address has changed from the previous election. This was done several months ago. Their voter ID was supposed to come within a maximum of a lightning quick 45 days. It is now more months than I can possibly count and they still haven't received their voter IDs. They have resigned to this remissness and I'm still fuming!

p.s: My parents make independent decisions and their political inclinations may not be the same as mine! :p

DPhatsez said...

Kashtam!

Teams-inte oro kaaryangal!

Until the next elections..

The Fat Saas

(Man! i am SOOOO not voting)

Nitram said...

My mom and sis went to get a voters ID, and promptly got denied based on some technicalities. My mom thinks its a conspiracy by the guys behind the desk to deny votes based on the demographic that people belong to. On seeing your blog post, even I am having my doubts wrt the genuineness of the guys giving out the voters ID card.

thomman said...

I'm happy that Killverine voted. Oh i mean silverine (voters list is having a corrupting influence on people's spellings)
P.S Are you sure it was Anfadi Phitik or is it Anfadi Idotik? The latter seems more possible & plausible.

Amal Bose said...

nice post.
its not only for voters id, in almost all govt matters its the same.
i know a guy who got his second name spelled wrong in his sslc book and went onto to change it, but didnt get it done even after years of trouble . in the end he changed his name to that.

Amey said...

Well, it's debatable what makes you flinch more looking at the card: your name or your photo. :D

Binny V A said...

I have voted - and it left a dark impression on me. On my left index finger.

silverine said...

krishnababu: But your turn cometh soon and then you shall be rechristened! :D

mathew: Harass Joker had two undocumented kids, Atal and Hosita :p

Parikshith: That was hilarious!! =))

Karthik: It is easier to get the ID card now if your name is on the voters list and you can even correct the spelling in the computer. So I am surprised that your parents are having a tough time! :-O

DPhatsez: You are not voting? Thats sad!

Nitram: I think the reason is because they are being extra cautious now. Lots of people made ID's in the past though they were not even Indian citizens. I got mine easily as my parents have been voting here for the past 28 years or so!

thomman: LOL! How mean! >:P

Amal: hehe That is the heights!! :))

Amey: Both actually! :D They use webcams! ::|

Binny VA: My turn cometh this Thursday! :)

~==[[[ Abhi ]]]==~ said...

Mabe onli th wundeful techie infstd Bengalooru is affctd wth ths prblm. We Mallu's dnt hab sch issues :)

Ordinary Guy said...

:) LOL....
The lengths to which one goes to prove his/her patriotocity...err.. Patriotism!!!

hammy said...

The voters list seems to be taking the Shakespearean philosophy to rather drastic levels.

What's in a name? That which we call Anju by any other name will vote just as promptly.

Abhilash said...

i proudly carry around a voter id where iam 'abilaaj' with my creepy mug shot and all.

my folks had this great laugh at my expense when one guy with a list at the polling booth called out "Abbbilaaaaajjj"

Well they are IDing 1200 million folks + change - we ought to give them a few years to sort the system out, no ?

RukmaniRam said...

ah, i miss being india around election time..

hammy said...

@rukmaniram:you miss being India??

Wowie!! That's patriotism to a whole nother level...

:D

Arunima said...

my name did not appear in the list. :-(

silverine said...

Abhi: If you are in Blr do visit the EC office at Mayo Hall. The furniture is from the Paleolithic Age, the typewriters from the Iron Age and people Neaderthal!

Ordinary guy: Patrioticity it is! :p

hammy: That quote was spot on cos people voted even if their real name only vaguely resembled the names in the voters list. :)

Abhilash: lol! If there is a que to vote you get to hear some hilarious names being called out. The bewilderment on the faces of the people when they realize it is their name is priceless! :))

Rukmini: Times have changed. No electioneering or banners...only FM Radio ads. Pure bliss!

Arunima: Are you sure? You have to check the list yourself as the people with the list aren't bothered. That's how I found my name in the last state elections after being told that it is not there in the list!

Bullshee said...

I didn't get a chance to because of where I am...Am I excused?

S said...

well...i hope Lakme (Luckmee..no, darnnit! wat was it? ah yes, Lakshmi) has better luck too ;)
Me..im going to vote for sure...even if its in the vain hope that someday things might change...

Thoorika said...

Lolz! A mere voter ID created so many probs!!! Am yet to get one!!

Raven said...

Hey Hey Hey .. I have been a long time follower of your random whims and find them extreamly entertaining and apt ... Just wanted to say Hi and wanted to commend your fab work .. :)

Wanderlust said...

Hail De-mock-crazy !! Awesomely witty...

Anonymous said...

Anjali, since we are talking about voting, I want to vote too. Never mind what I vote about. I am voting Amal Bose's comment 'Totally Mad'... in current times if a comment can kill me with laughter, then it's tops.
Amal, will be interesting to know what the chaps real name was and what it was changed to...!

silverine said...

Bullshee: Yes you are...till they invent postal voting...and then we will have some serious fun! :p

S: High five gal!! That's the spirit. :) We voted too...me and 'Luckyme'! :|

Thoorika: Please let us know how they spell your name in the voters list when you get registered as a voter! :|

Raven: Thank you so much!!! :)

Amitabha: Thank you. Love your profile pic! :p

Anon: I have heard that such things happen with the SSLC Board!

Haarish said...

Hi Silverine,

Awesome post. I have been having issues with mine as well. the guy doing the data entry prob had a tough day and swapped mine and my dads age. so when i went to vote in the last elections back home in TN I was shooo'ed away from the booth because of my age in the card and looks. Then came the corrections list when one sad lady had to come thrice in the past two years to get them corrected only to be verbally harassed by my father. Point is I still do not have a valid ID card :)

Adorable Pancreas said...

My brother was born in the same year as our mother initially, but later we got them to change the date to AFTER she got married. Imagine the scandal! :D

Sriram said...

Lly Kurkure.. LMAO!!

silverine said...

Haarish: lol! I think the EC people make the worst bloopers amongst all govt depts.

AP: hehe I have heard of another case like this! :p

Sriram: :p

Ashwadhy said...

Ha ha ha ... Laughed through the entire piece.... ha ha. Still can't stop laughing! I must say thanks to the EC for a Voter ID card which has my name on it.;)

J. Alfred Prufrock said...

Eventually the maid next door will become 'Lakme'.

Which will not necessarily make her rich.
Or even beautiful.

J.A.P.

gayathri-vishwanathan said...

My name in voter's card is gayatree :( and i look like a drunkard in the voter's card with my eyes almost closed.