Sunday, September 28, 2008

A hot and happened weekend

Yesterday as is the practice for the last twoindy years ( err one year actually, please excuse the Akkarakazhchakal overdose), we have been going to Jyoti Nivas College (JNC) to cheer for our college in the inter college Mad Ad competition. After screaming our self hoarse for our college and their spectacularly pathetic performance (so what duh!), we stumbled out hungry, hyper, hoarse and hot (not necessarily in that order) onto the road. Hungry because of the lusty screaming from 10 am onwards. Hoarse because of the hysterical screaming to drown out the rabid screaming of the Christ College and Joseph junta. Hyper because of the screaming competition over which nobody could hear anything and that included the judges. And hot because jumping up and down and screaming makes you really hot (hot as in thermal hot peoples…sigh)!!

As the junta poured out onto the road after the competition, we looked around for a place where we could sit down, compose our selves and stuff our faces. Most of the places were crowded. Cursing the JNC’ites because we were jealous that they had so many eateries around their college and because they gave a better performance than our wimps err I mean college, we trouped into a typical Bangalore Darshini. Now Darshinis have sentimental attachments for us Bangaloreans. Most collegians in Bangalore have derived 90% of their sustenance from Darshinis. It is not like our mothers did not cook in the house. But as soon as you got into college, as though by a genetic signal you start eating at least two meals a day in these Darshinis.

A typical Darshinis will have the word “Sagar” as an appendage after its name, for instance Jayanthi Sagar, Shanthi Sagar etc. These small self service restaurants will have only tables and no chairs. Some tables will be rectangular where more than six people can place their plates. Some will be circular where not more then two or three people could stand and eat. People grabbed their plates and placed it on any vacant space and ate. The tables will be occupied with strangers, eating comfortably oblivious to each other.

During college days we went en masse to these Darshinis for our breakfast, lunch, snacks etc. If we got separated into different tables then we performed an instinctive unconscious ritual called “edging”. Edging consisted of edging in as soon as a space next to your friend at her table got vacant till all group members were at one table! At this juncture the cashier can be seen beating his head against the cash counter and tearing his hair out in despair. This was not due to dandruff or head lice as you horrible people think. But due to the frustrating realization that he will have to kiss that table and the business it generates goodbye till every single girl in the group had finished eating, which could take a painful half an hour to 45 minutes or more. The maximum time a Darshini table in the self service zone is occupied is 10 minutes, No more! Oblivious to the howls and scowls and grumbles of the cashier cum manager, we would hang in there till the last girl had finished eating. A Darshini is a eating in a fast lane kinda zone. We did not care what zone it was! We had our own rules and regulations and due to the custom of a Darshini where minimal exchange of communication takes place between staff and patrons, no one ever asked us to get lost!!

Yesterday we fortunately got a table all to ourselves. Soon we all had our orders and were eating and yakking and giggling all at the same time. Well…there was more yakking than eating going on and the Cashier, an old man looked languidly on as it was almost 3 pm and close of the lunch rush hour. Now when our group eats, it looks like a sampling extravaganza. Everyone eats from everyone else’s plate. Somebody ate your vadai? Then you go and pick up another one. Zimble. While we were busy yakking and eating, we did not notice the place filling up and a young nondescript guy came and put his plate at our table and proceeded to eat his Naan and Peas curry timidly. Oblivious to his appearance we continued yakking and eating what we fancied from each others plate. Suddenly I realized that I had an onion ring in my hand and all of us had ordered south Indian food which doesn’t have onion rings as an accompaniment. With a sinking feeling I looked at the guy’s plate and realized to my horror and embarrassment that he had onion rings in his plate!!! I almost passed out with embarrassment! The poor guy continued eating timidly, oblivious to what had happened or perhaps a bit hurt by the insensitive girl at his table. I was mortified. I did not dare tell anyone or I would be butt of jokes for the next 150 years :( I did tell them after we were out of the place and my ears had stopped burning. And then I had to endure the ignominy of watching them rolling on the road laughing. Sigh!

About the competition folks…the biased, cruel, dishonest, improper, inequitable, iniquitous, oppressive, partial, prejudiced, and wrongful judges give the award to the Josephites grr. Agreed…our performance sucked, correction it sucked big time but that is no excuse for NOT giving us the award!!! We were by far the prettiest team!! So there!!

Have a nice week folks. I will be in a grouchy mood this week. Be nice to me please…like not mentioning the word “onion rings” while commenting ok?

34 comments:

Avik... said...

Onion Ring!!!

Sorry, couldn't resist... :)

Tom said...

I feel sorry for the guy! :| So you're indeed a cereal killer, if you know what I mean. If I was at his place, I would've wrung your neck and squeezed the onion ring out of your mouth. But did you say you were 'hot'?? Then I'm 'cool' with it! ;)

Sriram said...

Another paavam payyan fallen prey to silvie's deeds... Whatay evil girl :p

PS: onion rings

mathew said...

Wonder where they got all the ideas from..
"Lord of the Onion Rings"!! so it was you ;-D

Police Alert sounded for food terrorist prowling the streets in Bangalore. All Vada's and Dosa's requested to stay inside respective plates!! Posession of chutney might result in attacks without warning.

jj said...

Josephites won? yippeeeeeee :) (currently I am one)
okie I should be loyal to my oops OUR alma mater too. ( now I can pretty much guess where you're from). And you know these JNC ites...grrrr .
I'll be nice to you and I am not mentioning onion rings . * evil grin *

Rukmani Ram said...

This reminds me of our college canteen days. Although, we (the rest of the group, not me) generated so much revenue, that the cashier cum manager actually liked us a lot. I ate from everybody's plate in spite of having paid for a cup of coffee wonly. But I never got any onion rings. sigh.

Machiavelli said...

All Darshinis in the Malleshwaram area and most in the Yashwantapuram area bear the footprints of yours truly...And Josephs won eh? hmmm...forgive the Christs leaning..but used to love their A,B,C..song!!

Karthik Sivaramakrishnan said...

Turning 'meals' into 'special meals' eh? :p

LOL,you didn't even apologise, in your embarassment, to that guy who was so civil about it!

ROFL@akkarakazhchkal

The Layman said...

ha ha ..
"oblivious to what had happened"
:-)
Come on...

PS: I love the food at the 'sagars'. Make it a point to have breakfast from these "darshinis" whenever I come to Bengaluru.

Binny V A said...

Stealing and then claiming it was accident. Hmm - I sense a future politician is you ;-)

The Layman said...

BTW, thanks for the akkarakaazhchakal link.
Awesome :-D

silverine said...

Avik: I hope you dont work with me or it will a very tough week for you! :p

Tom: "I would've wrung your neck and squeezed the onion ring out of your mouth" LOL!!! I so believe you.

Sriram: Paavam indeed! Poor fellow! :p

mathew: err lady of the Onion Rings you mean? Nice name! I will keep it as a consolation! :p I need it after the pasting we got yday at the competition..sigh!

JJ: Yep first and second place went to Josephites :( We sucked so bad that I wanted to hang myself from the nearest tree. If I was the judge I would have fined my college for participating! :(( And there is no love between me and JNC'ites grr

Rukmini: Ah! How I do not miss those freeloaders! :P

Machiavelli: Something tells me you are from the enemy camp brr
:)

Karthik: The table was full of plates. And such goof ups happen in crowded darshinis. I have had my coffee taken many times :)

"Turning 'meals' into 'special meals' LOL!!! Good one!

the layman: Darshinis tops!! And akkarakaazhchakal is a must see. Do go over the archives too. :)

Binny: lol! That was mean! :))

kumar said...

the guys sure to leave blore soon...and as usual josephs wins hahaha..

--xh-- said...

Darshinis - I am kind of partial to them - I never step into them if even if I am ready to get hole of the next guy walking by and eat him then and there on the road.

but yeah, there r lot of nice eateries around JNC - we do go there often for lunch.

poor guy - and you didnt give him anything from your plate :P

Abraham Menacherry said...

reminded me of my canteen days. No matter what you ordered everyone got everything!

And about the cup, At the very least, being a true blooded mallu you could have sat in dharna before the judges.. shame girl shame!! You are a step away from being thrown out of the mallu club, just "december" that!!

Pramod Abraham said...

I think that 'Onion ring' wud have tasted better than all the onion rings you had in your lifetime.

One more thing , I admire the guy guts for coming on to your table which is overflowing with girls and tempting you with onion rings of all things!!

Cheers to Onion rings

DD said...

Reminds me of my engg days, there was this friend who swooped in when our group was picking up our stuff from the counter and picked up a glass of tea. The dude took a sip and complained "Chetta, ithu full vellam aanallo!". Canteen chettan: "Appi athu chaaya alla, njan kazhukan vecha chaaya kuppi aayirunnu!"
And nice alternative to ROTFL - ROTRL! :)

DD said...

And the umpteen Bangalore Sagars...my mouth waters at just the thought. Ultra cheap and super food. If you already havent, visit this place in Jaya Nagar 4th block which sells amazing Ghee dosas at 10 bucks (atleast 2 years back), they are heavenly! And you get a huge glass of filter coffee for some 4-5 bucks at the same place.

Jackson said...

how about 'annulus of Allium cepa'?
:-}

Philip said...

Kadavuley! Girls nowadays!! No manners and worse, shamelessly stealing other people's food ;)

Your 'Sagars' are no match for our 'Bhavans'. Vasantha Bhavan alone will kick the combined asses of Jayanthi Sagar, Santhi Sagar and Sukh Sagar. And we are not even talking about Saravana Bhavan and Krishna Bhavan - meaner masala dosa and deadlier filter kaapi any time :))

~==[[[ Abhi ]]]==~ said...

I've always loved the food from these sagar's on my few bangalore trips. Really cheap and the standing part really makes you leave the place asap, after eating. Just mean business tactics of bangalore, that's what my dad used to say :). Pinne i think the guy wasn't that paavam, maybe he planted himself on the table with all you kanyamani's with evil intention's(of course he knew later you're worse, by not even thanking him :p). Or maybe he'd extended the onion ring as a token of his love instead of a real ring and might be now singing and dancing since you accepted the proposal, gosh now i really feel sad for him, avan ithonnum ariyunillalo karthaave :)


@Philip - So agree with you:) Chennai's Bhavan's will rule the roost until we eat masala dosa's :p

Ajith said...

Read somewhere that onion is an aphrodisiac, any truth????

Vivek Menon said...

heheh..loved the mention of akkarakazhchakal...I will get to see the AK team in NJ next week..[:D]

Divs said...

I miss my Bangalore Darshinis masala dosas n yummy chats!
Here dosas r white.. n chats.. No comments :(

P.S : I will never ever mention onion rings..:D

and the sandwiches they make in the outlet near JNC is one of THE best i've ever had! Yumm..slurp!

Iyer Education said...

lordess of the onion rings... eh?

silverine said...

Kumar: Another member of the enemy camp I see! Your team did a kickass job btw :)

--xh--: I was too embarrassed to even look at him :)

Philip: :p Unfortunately, sadly, regrettably and unhappily I have to agree with you that Chennai serves the best south Indian fast food!

Ajith: :) When onion prices go down such rumours are wont to float around! :p

Vivek: If you do get meet them please tell George that I am his biggest fan in the whole world!! :) Will it be asking for too much to give him a kiss on his cheek from my side? :|

Abraham: Why didnt we think of that!! Next year we will surely do that for I dont have much hopes of our team going anywhere near the trophy! :p

Pramod: In a Darshini, it is common to see guys and gals eating at the same table. You just occupy any vacant spaces. But like you said that onion ring did taste better than others as it was stolen err unintentionally picked up! lol!

Deepak: That incident was hilarious!! he he And is that place is Jayanagar called Adiga's? Amazing dosais!! Blr darshini culture is too good. Fast food served really fast. The price of dosais now is Rs 17/-

Jackson: A rose by any other name....grrr
:)

Abhi: LOL!!! What a romantic setting you have made this out to be. Thank god you didnt include some villains and hi speed mobike chases! :))

Divs: If you tell me which joint makes those yummy sandwiches I will forgive you for mentioning onion rings! :|
:p

Iyer Edu: Yes Sir!! :)

neermathalam said...

akrantham...!!!

btb thanks for gifting a nyce laugh..

Mudra said...

Can I link you? :)

silverine said...

Mudra: Thank you. Honored to be blogrolled by you! :)

neermathalam: :p It is always nice to see you here! :)

Ms Cris said...

Err [attempt at offering consolation]

The you-know-what might have due to some reason grown out of the fingers of your hand, you know thats how things form. Maybe there was some good soil that these onions like to grow up on, around your fingers, which for some reason you liked to keep there

[attempt at offering consolation over]

There you should be a happy girl now.

Ajith said...

I got addicted to akkarekazchakal... just cant resist.... entire weekend is lost and i hve got dark circles around my eyes...Only coz of u silverline, y do u have to give a link when u knw that it is addictive :)

hammy said...

Tut tut, Anjs. The guy probably got scared of the entire gang and was happy to get out of there alive...

He probably went directly to his shrink screaming and trembling "... Exactly, doc! A big menacing bunch of screamers. I didn't realize until I had put my plate next to theirs. And by then there was no escape... I tried not to interfere. I even chewed slowly so that I didn't make any noise.

And then.. then this particularly skinny one lunged right for my plate. I was frozen with fear. She was trying to taunt me... I knew it.

She lapped up one of my onion rings as calmly as if she's been doing it all her life... It was an open challenge. I ate my stuff REAL fast and scrammed before they did some real damage.

It was HORRIBLE, doc. They were like a biker gang, except they had no bikes... and they were all girls... sob sob..."

ursjina said...

somethin tells me ur from the same camp...if yes..cheerios..that sure felt like the wind beneath ur wings...me too belong to the cult..if not..too bad..:P

confucius said...

Hehe....

Most probably he might be thinking that you have some soft corner for him. That poor soul might be explaining this to his friends and his friends may be re assuring him that you have fallen for him.
Most probably , he will find you and give you a nice present..A bag of Onion Rings and an engagement ring !!!