A gult edged dilemma

‘Anju’ said my senior Gult colleague as he walked up to my work station. “Let’s go for a walk.”
“Why? Is there no other bakra willing to come with you?” I asked sympathetically.
“No” he admitted dejectedly.
“You poor thing” I exclaimed as I locked my lappie, secretly thanking my stars for the break from the ongoing wrestling match with Excel, in which Excel is currently winning and will perhaps emerge victorious by the end of the day, according to the punters in the office. Brisk betting is going on. The odds are 2000 to 1 against me. Sigh.

I locked the desk drawers and the both of us walked out of the building. My Gult (Telugu) colleague, is one of those MIT types who was kicked out of MIT because they had nothing else to offer him anymore. Hence the intellectual gap between him and me is roughly twice the distance from the Sun to its farthest neighbor. Which is very very very very far even I know.

My colleague like all Gult babies was named to ensure that no computer form in the world will have enough columns to accommodate his name. When he travels abroad, he usually lends his laptop to accommodate the tail end of his name on the various official computers. We lovingly call him Foxy, which is shortened from “"The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” a 35-letter phrase that uses all the letters of the English alphabet. His name, according to his parents has all the Telugu alphabets in it you see and hence the logic.

Foxy breathed a heavy sigh and looked at the blue yonder for sometime. He seemed fascinated by a lady who looked like a sack of Watermelons, playing Golf. He tore his eyes away from what would have been considered a classically beautiful figure a few centuries ago and looked at me.

Foxy: You know I like you mallu gals.
Me: Thank you!
Foxy: You guys are so down to Earth and…
Me: And?
Foxy: And….*waves his hand in circles*
Me: Buxom?
Foxy ( horrified): No!!! Noooo! I meant wholesome!
Me: So?
Foxy: Our gals on the other hand have a mind of their own!
Me: errr ok! Is that good or bad?
Foxy: Bad! Very bad I tell you!
Me: My condolences.

I think of one of my closest friend, I mean very close friend, make it bestest buddy…she reads this blog you know and is on very close terms with one bhai who lives across the border. Close terms as in several transactions close. Now this gal will not be too happy to hear this. She is Gult you see and has a mind of her own.

Foxy kept one leg on the low wall like NTR in a Telugu blockbuster and sighed again. The watermelon lady was nowhere to be seen.

Foxy: I am 38 you know and quite set in my ways!
Me: Let me sum up the situation here… you are set in your ways and any prospective bride will have a mind of her own right?
Foxy: Right!
Me: You will die a bachelor, man!

Foxy wandered over to the fountain and sat at its edge like a Telugu superstar in a mythological block buster. I followed him. This was getting fun! The waters gurgled and giggled. A soft breeze caressed our face. Foxy seemed oblivious to all this.

Foxy: *sigh*
Me: Did you say anything!
Foxy: My parents want me to get settled you know!
Me: Quite understandable. You are not getting any younger!
Foxy: Don’t rub it in!
Me: Sorry!
Foxy: And you know the problems with our girls….
Me: Lemme guess…they have a mind of their own right?
Foxy: Exactly!
Me: Why don’t you marry a non gult girl then? *under my breath* "A zombie perhaps?"
Foxy: My parents will never allow that.
Me: You are in a jam, man!
Foxy: Precisely! Which is why I have decided to remain a bachelor.
Me: err... then why all this exercise. I mean calling me out and going through this soul searching?
Foxy: I like talking to you. You listen…and don't talk back. The others are pretty set in their ways you know. They have a mind of their own!
Me: I am glad you are not getting married.
Foxy: Me too!
Me: I am glad for a different reason though.
Foxy: Huh?
Me: Never mind!