Sunday, April 20, 2008

People to people pigeon contact!

According to Scott Adams if we were to “connect citizens in different countries at such a high rate it would be politically impossible for the two countries to start a war.

What an idea! We could all make an email pen pal in "the neighboring country" (NC) and ensure that the two countries who share a lot in common like Shah Rukh Khan and Madhuri Dixit, never go to war!

So I went right ahead folks and made my very first pen pal from the Neighboring Country!!

Dear Neighboring Country Pen Pal (NPP)

How are you! I am fine by the grace of my amma. It is so nice to have a pen pal from NC! I don’t know much about your country. But I hope together, we will discover the great cultures of our country.

Regards,

Silverine

--------------------------------------------------------

Dear Silverine,

What a pleasant surprise!! You are my first pen pal from India too. Although I did try to *censored* before, but it was *censored*. I am also hoping and praying that *censored**censored**censored*. Besides we have so much in common like *censored*. But I really like Indian *censored**censored**censored*and *censored**censored*.

Warm regards
NPP
City: *censored*

--------------------------------------------------------

Dear NPP,

I finally have my very first reply from a friend in NC!!! I am so happy. My friends say "Hi”. My boss wants to know if you get daaru in NC and if so what is the rate of Jack Daniels. My Big Boss wants to know if you will marry me and take me off his hands. He jests heh heh. Funny man he is. But he says he will pay for the wedding.

Regards,

Silverine
--------------------------------------------------------

Dear Silverine,

I am so happy to see your reply and the great interest among my new Indian friends about my country. Please tell your boss that *censored* costs *censored* here and we can always arrange to have it sent across the border via *censored*.

p.s if you see too many “censored” in my mail do let me know. I will have to try and send you mails via pigeons.

Regards,

NPP

Mail Admin: General Mush Rough! Please note mail intercepted by our alert and patriotic Mail Filters!
Re: Shoot down all pigeons going into India.

--------------------------------------------------------

Dear NPP,

Thank you for the information. Your mail is full of *censored*. What do I do?

Regards

Silverine

--------------------------------------------------------

Dear Silverine,

What the *censored*!!!!!

Mail Admin: What the hell is ‘fcuk’?
Re: *censored*
Mail Admin: :(
--------------------------------------------------------

Dear NPP,

I am afraid I didn’t understand your mail. There seems to be a serious miscommunication between us. But I guess these are early days for us. We will eventually understand each others language. So take heart and keep mailing. In the meantime here is a small article on the History of India.

Sincerely,

Silverine

Mail Admin: Caution!! Subject is talking of a “miscommunication”. I sense covert transmission. Advised further sustained surveillance.
Re: Don’t shoot our Pigeons you moron!!!
--------------------------------------------------------
Dear Silverine,

Your post was very informative. Thank you. I am greatly suffering to hear about the sufferings of Indian school children. We are suffering too. But with a different suffering called *censored*.

Regards

NPP

Mail Admin: Nice list of places.
Re: They are not Night Clubs you dunce!! Now get back to work!

--------------------------------------------------------
Dear NPP,

Please tell me about your cuisine. I have attached a recipe for Curd Rice, a delicacy in South India for you to try out.

Regards
Silverine

Mail Admin: Red Alert! Subject has sent some recipe in the attachment. Handle with care!!
p.s This stuff tastes yuck!
Re: You are not supposed to taste it you idiot! It might explode in your mouth.
Mail Admin: It just did. I think my taste buds are dead.
Re: Re: Re: @#%&#$!!!!
Mail Admin: :(

--------------------------------------------------------
Dear Silverine,

Thank you for the recipe. The attachment was missing though. Attached is a recipe from my Mother.

p.s do you have pigeons?

Regards,

NPP

Mail Admin: General, this seems to be a harmless recipe for Pigeon fry!
Re: How do you know? Did you check?
Mail Admin: Oops!
Re:Re: Idiot!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------
Dear NPP,

Thank you for the delicious recipe. It was yummy! My mother says “Thank you!” and she says that she would love to have you and your family visit us when you come to India.

Regards

Silverine

--------------------------------------------------------

Dear Silverine,

Thank you so much! We will definitely visit India and meet up with you and your family. I will start packing the Pigeons right away.

Regards,

NPP

Mail Admin: Red Alert! NPP is fleeing to India!! I am sure he is fleeing with our Nuclear Secrets!
Re: Over my dead body!!! I am going to launch the nuclear bomb!! First strike will be ours by Gods grace!!!!! Stand back everyone!!
Re: Re: @#&% Chinese triggers!!!!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------

As you can see dear friends, increased people-to-people contact is the only way we can expedite the Indo-NC peace process. So I urge all of you to get yourself pen pals from our neighboring country and aid peace in this region!

Thank you!

35 comments:

~==[[[ Abhi ]]]==~ said...

New insights into making peace with the NC's. Only wish the hundreds of civil service officials working in north block knew about this NEW technology. :)

Had a heartfelt laugh reading the ps notes from mush and the mail admin. It'd been nice to know how many censored words he had got in his mail thanks to our RAW n IB networks. Hope this comment comes through without many *'s in it. :)

g-man said...

lol, funny post...i do have a really really good friend from er...nc tho :)

Rahul said...

Rofl!!

Like abhi said, it would be interesting to know how many censored words the MPP got in his mail :-p

| Balu | said...

You really hate mail-admins heh?

PS: now thats a question you better answer to my comment =P =D =)

Mind Curry said...

lol..at this rate, increased NC contact will bring the war to us sooner than we imagined :) very hilarious and *censored* post! just like its *censored* author!

Philip said...

Dear Silverine,

I'm very much intrigued by your idea of greater communication between countries. I had seen Scott's blog and knew that communication was the key to getting me out of the shithole that I'm in now. However the internet connection in the mountains of NC suck, and I'm not able to upload my videos to Youtube regularly or watch Mallika Sherawat's belly dancing. It's under such circumstances that you gave me the idea of pigeons.

As you know, I've not been on very good terms with George W for some time now. I'm getting old and would like to retire from this life of guns and bombs (and ever since seeing what they did to Saddam - on youtube, of course - I've had sleepless nights). I just hope that the pigeons have enough stamina to reach Washington DC and deliver my messages to Dubya.

Sincerely yours,

Osama

PS: I find your boss' offer for your marriage very interesting (in our country, it's the father who gives the girl away). Please convey to him my agreement to the terms. My fourth wife has been complaining that washing and cooking is becoming very difficult for her, especially since we started this nomadic life in the mountains of NC.

Binny V A said...

Even though I don't have any pen pals in 'NC's I have received many mails from African countries. They even offered me a lot of money that was left in their possession due to the death of a dictator. Nice people.

Alameen said...

nice one.. In NC, do they really censor the part of mails. Just curious to know..

Pen pals is working out in blogosphere.. with people from NCs is indeed a good idea..

ദില്‍ബാസുരന്‍ said...

ROTFL :-D

Jim said...

Don't know about the people-to-people part, but you should check out the IP over Avian Carrier protocol... a surefire way to defeat your mail admin!

fundoome said...

*censored* *censored* *censored* post. surely shows your love for NC's NPP and your hate for your mail admin. hope he doesn't intercept your internet and blogging activities :D

Amey said...

So how was the pigeon fry? Deep-fried or...?

How exactly did you find a NPP who is holding nuclear secrets in his head? You are wasting your time and our country's resources in non-spy jobs. I am sure with right training you can avoid mistakes like the last "open" letter.

Err... forget I typed the last paragraph, and keep staring at your screen while I get my sunglasses and my neuralyzer.

Deepti said...

LOL!!!

mathew said...

I googled for "freedom of expression in China" and I got "0 matches for this search"...I googled for "corruption in India" and I got "No of results too high.Please filter by specific section"

scorpiogenius said...

There is another easy way of creating peace...

Outside the comfort zones of our motherland, the friction seem to vapourise into thin air. In the land of our old super-empire our fellas appear to be great folks; they date each other, live-in and even have each other's children..

*Censored* said...


*censored* post
i *censored* reading it
keep *censoring*

From
*censor* Education

Mind Curry said...

@ philip-osama - lol..i am flipping here.. :)

silverine said...

Abhi: Thank you. The P.S were the key to this post! And you cracked it first! :)

g-man: There are some people in NC who read my blog too :)

Rahul: Knowing the technology our people use I would safely say...all! :p

Balu: In fact I don't!

MC: Thank you! :)

Binny V A: LOL!! Even I have such caring freinds you know! And the numbers keep growing ...I think the world is getting a better place! :p

Al Ameen: I was told that all mails going and coming from NC to here and vice versa were scrutinized some time back!

Dilbasuran: Deepti: Thank you :)

Jim: That was not my mail admin :)

Fundoome: Thank you. My mail admin is ok and I wasn't referring to him :)

Amey: You will have to ask the NC mail admin about the pigeon fry :P

I have already forgotten what you wrote after I heard a *ZAP*! :))

Mathew: Wonder what you would Google for about NC!

Scorpiogenius: That sounds nice!

Iyer Education: LOL!!!

Philip: ROFL!!!

Dear Osama,

I am overwhelmed by your comment at my blog. Now I can die in peace by suicide bombing! In fact that is what I will do as the prospect of being your fifth wife is rather overwhelming...err in a nice way you know!

Ciao! The 14 hunks err I mean paradise awaiteth!

Yours faithfully!

Silverine! :p

PK said...

Someone must take note, appreciate & make you our foreign minister!

Very funny post...LOL!

Macadamia The Nut said...

I laughed all the way to the end!
If this brings peace I dread to see what will have us and our NC at loggerheads. Lol!

Indian Home Maker said...

LOL!I have added you to my Blog Roll. This one is as good as the poor guy you sent to Kerala with only Poda Patti for 'Please, Sorry and Thank you'...

Arti Honrao said...

:)

~==[[[ Abhi ]]]==~ said...

I'm honored

silverine said...

PK: Thank you :)

Macadamia the Nut: Thank you very much!! I was trying to show how hawks and uninformed people can ruin the peace process between the two countries. :)

Indian home maker: Thank you and honored to be blogrolled by you :)

Arti: Nice to see you after such a long time dear :)

Abhi: :)

hammy said...

Here's to furthering the cause of penpalship everywhere...

And it also explains why pigeons are in short supply these days...

Thomas said...

If think phone conversation might be a fool-proof idea, hehe. Atleast no censoring!! ;)

ZAHRA said...

Lolzzzz.... really funny one.:)

Careful now, you dont want your blog getting censored there!!

Amey said...

Aah, some people will be very happy to know that the thing which does not exist is working fine ;)

That said, if the recipe was not a pigeon fry, what was it exactly?

Siddharth said...

Rather than running umpteenth number of friendship trains between NCs, governments of NCs should run pen pal programs. Ofcourse the choice of mail admins/translators should be left to the respective government heads.
This will definitely go a long way in realizing Scott's vision.

Syam said...

where the *censored* do you get these *censored* ideas from ?
*Censored*!!

Sreejith Kumar said...

Back here after a long time... Another good post S!

silverine said...

Hammy: "It also explains why pigeons are in short supply these days" LOL!!! Admit it, your supply is cut off right? :p

Thomas: Even that can be tapped you know! :)

Zahra: Thank you! :)

Amey: "Some people will be very happy to know that the thing which does not exist is working fine"
Ah! One must humor boys and their imaginary toys ;)

Sidhdharth: It is indeed a good idea if implemented well!

Syam: LOL!!

Sreejith: Nice to see you too after a long time! :)

The Smokin' WDM2 said...

Heyo.. first time I'm reading your blog... found it awesome! Damn funny post hehe :) Bookmarking...

Ceruleus said...

ROTFL!

Nishant Chandgotia said...

Funny.. as usual..esp. the shopping one, was laughing for hours.