Time and again I have people commenting at my blog (albeit ‘anonymously’), about my atrocious English, horrendous spellings and mortifying punctuating skills. Well I have never claimed that I was good in English have I? In fact this blog is a celebration of ‘English Language Underdogginess’!!! It is an affirmation that we, the poorly skilled in English, can also have our badly spelled and punctuated word heard.
Did I tell you that I barely passed English in school and college? I guess not. Well I did pass, but it had nothing to do with my knowledge of the language. I am sure I passed due to God smiling kindly at me (specially during English exams), pleased with my gentle, caring, loving, adorable, endearing, truthful, thoughtful, humble etc etc etc nature. ( My mother begs to disagree about this though.) Don't believe me? See for yourself!
11th Standard: The evaluator was an extremely kind lady. She actually cried when she read my essay in which I wrote about my unemployed Dad and my maid servant mom, who washes dishes in 31 houses to put me through college and English tuitions.
12th Standard: The evaluator was sick. She felt worse when she saw my paper. She gave me passing marks so that she didn't have to go through the horror of reading the entire paper.
First year BA: The evaluator was crossing the road and was hit by a scooterist. She was hospitalized and they had to rush in the Hindi evaluator to do the corrections. I got 99% this year. In the remarks column she wrote: Vary gud. Ek dum pass!!
Second year BA: The evaluator slept off and I copied from my Punju buddy Natasha. Natasha failed. I passed. She had submitted my paper by mistake. She never sat next to me again.
Third year BA: The evaluator had an enormous inferiority complex. When he saw my paper he felt so good that he passed me. He was also cured of his inferiority complex forever.
And thus peoples, pliss to forgive me poor English and give encouraging words like “You are the greatest blogger Silverine” etc so that I keep writing and do not get discouraged and develop really low self esteem and other conditions I cannot spell.