Friday, November 16, 2007

Corporate Correctness

Most of us have a ready-made e-mail signature in our mail application that saves us the time of signing each and every outgoing e-mail. Especially these days when we send umpteen mails in a day. Almost everyone has a favorite quote too, as a part of their e-mail signatures. As the Marketing and Communications person of my team, I am invariably cc’ed in many mails and I get to see some brilliant exchanges due to these ready made signatures. Here is an exchange that took place today. The email sign off is in blue font. The quotes in maroon font.


Dear Mohan,

Where is the Solutions Brochure??? I am fed up of reminding you and your lame excuses. I would like to cancel this order!!!!

Warm regards,

Sanjay

“One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.’



Dear Sanjay,

I have told you countless number of times that if you ask for a change at the last minute, it would delay the whole printing process. Why don’t you read your mails for gods sakes???

Have a nice day, take care...,

Brjesh

"For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness."


Brijesh and Sanjay,

I am appalled that the Brochures are yet to be delivered. My client will kill me. I am escalating this to the big boss!!!!! Silverine FYI

I remain yours truly…

Karthik

“Tolerance is giving to every other human being every right that you claim for yourself.”


Dear Karthik,

I suggest getting into the details of a case and not jumping the gun before ascertaining the facts and escalating matters.

Silverine FYI!!!!

My sincere thanks for your time and consideration,

Jayant

“Life is like a mirror, we get the best results when we smile at it.”

While these heated exchanges are going on I can be seen doubled over my desk, laughing my guts off. My boss thinks I have the right work attitude and predicts that I will go far with this kind of a mindset. Of course I will, as I am in no hurry to point out to the stars of this ‘exchange’ how entertaining err I mean “corporately correct” is their emails.

34 comments:

ggop said...

Oh this is truly hilarious!

Alexis said...

Excellent post. Nice mails and nice quotes... I see that you are have a heck of a time... Enjoy :-)

Anonymous said...

LOL!!
zee first to comment!

പെരിങ്ങോടന്‍ said...

We had a 'thought for the day' week recently. HR was on the process of employee annual review, and everyone was indulging in job quiting threat TFTDs. And HR lady replied: Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Sreejith said...

"For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness."

wonder what happens if we are happy to be angry? :D

sweet irony! keep churning them out! btw you are one of those who must compulsively read the fine print right?

Amey said...

Wow... now that's what we call office humour.

Or was that irony? Hmm...

zahid said...

And for every minute of happiness you loose sixty seconds of consciousness..

Gr8 post...

Goli said...

I loved this post.. :)

--
Goli

mathew said...

LOL..so being the manager gives u much needed entertainment too.. ;-P

Praveen said...

amazing how the e-mails actually "mirror" the signatures :).entertaining indeed :).

KUMAR said...

what awonderfuul blog

KUMAR said...

oh this is alovly blog

Anonymous said...

oh this is truly hilarious

KUMAR said...

oh this is truly hilarious!

Sandeep Unnimadhavan said...

Did have a gud laugh ... but was wondering did it really happen? Just imagining what if any of the corporate characters land up here :-)

~==[[[ Abhi ]]]==~ said...

The signature was added in a happy mood and people twist it in all sorta ways! Even managers have fun reading out CONFIDENTIAL mails! How rude! Bt seriously it was funny reading all those contrasting war of words!

Hammy said...

The power of the signature quote is startling. Your article ALMOST makes me want to change my quote.

It may not be a good idea to post The Dilbert Principle along with the mails I send to my boss and my boss’ boss and etc etc etc… After all, The Dilbert Principle, which states “The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage -- management.” May NOT go well with them…

I'll have to think about changing the quote. I'll probably take a couple of years to think about it, though.
:)

ദീപു : sandeep said...

So managers too have a good time ;)

Gr8 post.

Strider said...

LOL! :)

sirpy said...

LOL.. 'Corporately correct'.. Whoever said managers dont have a good time..?

Parul said...

The best (and the most apt) one i have seen so far:

I sit here all day trying to persuade people to do the things they ought to have sense enough to do without my persuading them.

KP said...

arent u njoying ur work......:D

shruti said...

This was indeed very very rib tickling ..not to mention very true .. Since I am marked on a lot of mails too I have seen the transition form lovely olourful signatures to no signatures amongst my colleagues .

I personally no longer have a signature and as for quotes did away with it a long time back as its considered unprofessional in official mails or so I was told and to be honest it doesnt serve any purpose in offical communication rather than just a proclamation of what one believes in .

Bullshee said...

HIlarious exchange!

You have a wacky team working with you!!

KD said...

Hahahahaahaha! I am returning to your blog after closeto 6 months, and you have gotten better than the best..

silverine said...

ggop: Thank you :)

Alexis: I do have heck of a time ...at others expense :p

Anon: :)

Raj:lol!! Your HR and mine must be long lost siblings :p

sreejith: Thank you :) And I do have to watch the fine print though looking at the mistakes in my blog no one would believe it :))

amey: I would call it office humor :)

zahid: Thanks buddy :)

goli: Thank you, nice name :)

mathew: You dont need to be a manager for that. Just being in the cc is enuff :))

Praveen: Nice to get a comment from you :)

Kumar: Thank you :)

Sandeep: It did happen, it does happen even now :)

Abhi: I was not intruding. Wait till you start working and get cc'ed in mails. Its called keeping you in the loop :)

hammy: One chamaat for you for expounding the Dilbert principal!! grrr
LOL!!!

sandeep: Everyone can have a good time if you can step back and just observe :)

strider: :)

sirpy: Since you are one in the making, I suggest you get set for the good times to roll :) Oh yes, lose the pink shirt :p

parul: lol! Good one! :))

shruti: Thank you :)

Bullshee: I do!! :)

KP: I am!! I am!! :p

Nitin: Nice to see you buddy!! Hope you are back to blogging!! :)

Lash said...

pretty creative.. the 'tolerance ' one was really funny

:)

Amey said...

Now we know why experts suggest keeping such "signatures" out of your official mail.

Incidentally, my signature contains a line about things not working properly not being worthless. I am almost tempted to keep it every time I send in a job application mail ;) You know, just as an added incentive

hope and love said...

lol..1 yes its so obvious..i mean these props never works..

P A X said...

lol...
but can't help wondering what "silverine" uses as her quotes

usha said...

hehe.. cudnt stop laughing!
i've always wondered at the mostly apparent difference b/w the sender (as we know them) and their signature piece.. but then i wonder, mebbe they are trying to motivate themselves into thinking differently! though i have no idea how something going 'out' of their mailbox can actually motivate them!

fundoome said...

LOTFR......marketing and communication post must be real entertaining with these kinda emails :D

King Vishy said...

He he.. Good one.. Reminded of many such mails I've recd till date.. Particularly things like:

Da,

Lunch?

Regards,

ABC

Please consider the environment before you print this email


The signature would run much longer than the mail by itself :D

Karthik Sivaramakrishnan said...

I love irony.

http://s-kar.blogspot.com/2005_11_01_archive.html

:)