Friday, March 02, 2007

My realities

Recently a girl wrote to me saying that she admired the fact that I admitted to having a conservative mother and being from a fairly conservative background. She felt that too many girls pretend that their moms are Paris Hilton clones ( she didn’t exactly say that but I am using certain licenses here like ‘being the owner of this blog’ ). Thank you dear girl…alas one cannot chose their parents (unless you were on friendly terms with the geneticist pre-conception )or I would have chosen Dr Salim Ali to be my dad and Rita Rudner to be my mom. Kidding… I am quite happy with what God gave me or err…what God gave my parents.(Dear God, you do spoil my parents a lot I must admit, by giving them too much of a good thing a.k.a “me” :p )

Now I have been more than honest about my family or more popularly referred to as Case Study # 3456 by the good doctors at NIMHANS.

I don’t have an amma who says “Mole you don’t have a boyfriend??? I am so ashamed of you!!! Are you my daughter?? Ente daivame I think you got switched in the hospital. Someone took my darling smart baby and put a loser like you in there!!

But when I do things like climb trees and recently in Kerala, when I nearly killed the family’s’ prize goat, prize cow, prize neighbor (he has an eligible son) with my cousin brother’s Bullet, she does wonder if I had indeed got switched in the hospital. (But the Bullet ride was awesome!! Next, I am gonna try the Tractor!)

And she also honestly and sincerely believes that her hubby dearest and his younger two kids descended from the apes while she and her elder son and her family were dropped from heaven to earth below as fully formed manicured and pedicured human beings who had read all the Malayalam authors and the plays of Shakespeare and as soon as they descended onto earth they headed straight to the library where they still reside reading books as they are printed.

My dad, a pragmatic Pala achayan on the other hand proudly admits that he is descended from the apes and thus can grunt and scratch himself anywhere anyplace anytime. (He also says that it is a calculated lie perpetrated by his wife and in laws that Apes are vegetarians and that he is living proof to the contrary.)

As a kid I heard my friends say that they read Mills and Boon right in front of their moms. I looked at them with admiration. Wow what cool moms they had compared to mine I thought. I had to read the Constitution of India and Geography for Secondary Schools...because they were big enough to hide the M&B. It did have it’s disadvantages though, like one day when my mom suddenly asked what I chapter I was reading I absent mindedly said “Midnight Tryst oops I mean Freedom at Midnight” ( You will all admit after this incident that an M&B kept hidden inside the Constitution of India and Geography for Secondary Schools is very good for mental alertness.)

I was always red faced when I heard aforementioned classmates moms declare rather proudly to my mom that their daughters read only Shakespeare and The New English Reader and not filthy books like Mill and Boons. They were right I must admit…these girls did not read M&B like me....they had by now graduated from M&B to Harold Robbins and Lady Chatterley’s Lover.

While my peers said that they had permission to go to the movies, I admitted rather frankly that I would have to check with my mom. And after my mom had asked around about the movie and got different opinions and reviews and finally a clearance from the parish priest and if possible from the Pope himself and if further possible from Sushma Swaraj and the Imam of Jama Masjid, then and then only would I be told “No!!” Don’t judge my amma too harshly. This movie had a lot of s** and violence and bloodshed you see. The heroine reportedly wears very short skirts and high heels (s**) which makes her trip and fall down the steps and break her head ( violence and bloodshed).

But I must admit that I was not totally honest all the time. When the aforementioned classmates moms would call me and ask “Where is Nina, she said she is coming over to your place to study but I heard she was spotted at the movies?!” I would tell lies that her daughter was indeed here and studying hard and right now she was in the toilet where she would remain, till around the time a matinee show generally gets over.

When my classmates declared that they could wear spaghetti strap and off shoulder tops, I had to admit that the only thing I was allowed to wear was T Shirts and jeans and frocks that I suspect were remodified burkhas. Since I was not a regular in the fashion scene, I was quite fascinated by the trends in fashion exhibited by my friends and learnt a lot from them. For example did you know that spaghetti strap and off shoulder tops are “always” worn with a modest T Shirt on top till you are 500 meters away from the house or out of view of your mom and vice versa?! Amazing!

I so envy girls with super cool moms like my friends.

51 comments:

PizzaDude said...

Your post brought a smile and a hearty laugh on an otherwise dull friday :D

Have been lurking around for a while and finally decided to comment :)

Attribution said...

:)

I have read your posts but never commented . Decided to make a change today.

The Smiling Girl said...

Guess u and I have soemthing in common here! :)

Abhishek said...

Thank you,That made my day even more!
Today is my Birthday !! : -)
Being 26 is cool !

Neihal said...

Am right behind you.....my mom must be long long lost sister of your mom...

But I have to admit that I had numerous arguments and fights for many of those "I dont feel its right, you convince me otherwise" instances.

Today looking back I can only thank her for the way she brought me up, coz not only did it save me from lot of trouble during growing up, it also made me a good debater.

Neihal said...

where is my comment!!!!!

Neihal said...

oh ok!!
:)

Jithesh said...

The quality and nature of parenting makes you what you are now. I am bit sceptical as to what kind of values such "cool moms" can inculcate in their children.
Talking about Pala,one tends to wonder whether Pala is in kerala or Kerala is in Pala. Almost every other person whom i have met/known outside kerala was from Pala :-)

Hyde said...

Oh, so you are Case #3456. My neighbour was describing your case quite animatedly while I pretended to listen to her with great interest.

Priya said...

You sure you were talkin' about YOUR mom and not mine? :-? Striking resemblance, you know ;-)

That apart, I agree with Neihal - I'm glad she brought me up the way she did and now my future kid's had it from me.

Somehow your blog reminds me of sunshine and butterflies - weird, 'coz mine reminds me of pizza and coffee (donno why!!).

mathew said...

‘My dad, a pragmatic Pala achayan on the other hand proudly admits that he is descended from the apes'


now how many people can flaunt saying something like that..Lol!!!


Neways on a serious note while reading between the lines. I feel sad when I see folks feeling awkward about their parents ‘who are out of touch’..’who are not socially presentable…’
It is often when you are not proud of own parents and when you are not secure of your own self..such kind of blowing up the parents happens. sad cases they are…

dharmabum said...

u ride a bullet? :-O *envy*

mom still calls me EVERYDAY, still asks me the SAME questions like "had dinner" / "howz health" and also "what news from your end?" and whats more, even EXPECTS a different answer every single day.

silverine said...

pizzadude: Thank you :)I see you got the joke :p

attribution: Welcome here buddy :)

the smiling girl: Guess 99% of us will have a lot in common :)

abhishek: Happy birthday!!!! :)

neihal: Yeah me too am grateful to her though I did do my round of protesting and debating :)

jithesh: These moms were not cool, but were portrayed to be cool by the girls. More often than not I had to cover their backs with lies :) But you are right nurturing does matter.

priya: Guess we all feel the same way about our moms! And sunshine and butterflies? So sweet :)

hyde: :p

mathew: My dad is the coolest :) And you did read between the lines right. Many girls especially the mallus were quite ashamed of their parents, sadly. (I know I will get dandaas on my head for this :p)

dharmabum: I "tried" to ride a Bullet and lived to tell the tale :p

Alexis said...

Brilliant one. Very nice way telling what you wanted to tell, just by telling just the opposite :-))

Mind Curry said...

i envy them too! :)

Fleiger said...

My parents are not that conservative. Of course, we didn't watch the movies in the theater together, or engage in light banter with them like some of my friends' parents. But still, we had as much freedom as we wanted, and we found very rarely the limits constrictive...

Anyways, if you try the tractor next time, be sure to steer away from the goat and other animals. The neighbour might have lost his prized-tag by them ;)

Sanjay said...

At the end of the book (or movie if you choose) Gandalf informs Frodo, Sam and whoever else chose to hear that the earth will be inherited by humans.

Your family story reminds me so much of the elves and ..ahem..orks
(Lord of the Rings for the uninititated)

So you dont have a boyfried?

quills said...

Great Post Silverine.:) As usual ofcourse. Had so much fun reading it.

Btwn, was it not easier to just cover those M&Bs with some other paper (brown paper in particular would make it look like some text book)? My friends and I used to do that. So much easier to read then at the dining table away from the curious eyes of parents and brothers. :)

Brijesh said...

Nice one.

Jiby said...

oh...all these conservative moms...my mom considers my sis a jewel of her strict upbringing and me the diametrically opposite black sheep who lost his way once out of her iron grip...looking at my sis i wonder how many more of the family's future generations will have such a tale to tell!

Jim said...

Partially in response to Mathew, I'm actually not sure why people see this as a big deal. It's only the natural course of events that teenagers and young adults challenge their parents' authority and question them and their ways. Why blow this out of proportion?

Err, Mills and Boon? Eek... what was it with girls and those stoopid books?

That said, the bit about the 'prized neighbour' had me in splits!

silverine said...

Alexis: I so "knew" that you will get the gist of the entire post!!!! You are one of the rare readers who make me feel good about writing. :)

MC: A fellow sufferer I see :p

fleiger: Conservatism is restricted to girls mostly and in certain areas like clothes, going out etc only. But we do sit together and talk a lot. As a family we love to spend time together.

Sanjay: No I dont have a BF :)

Quills: My mom was a smart cookie so covered books especially the M&B would be immediately spotted :p

brijesh: Thnak you and thanks for the nominations :)

Jiby: I guess most moms make sure that their daughters will carry on the tradition :)

Jim: Mathew has a point and you have a point too :) M&B does spoil you with those dreamy romance stories :)

mathew said...

@Jim

I fully agree with you..My point is not about questioning your parents..because differences are expected when generation gap exists..I feel sad when folks ridicule their parents just because they are out of touch with new times..The point is we must respect parents inspite of shortcomings(in our prespective) they have..

GMG said...

Your posts are becoming a healthy reading must…
Thanks for dropping by Blogtrotter.

ganesh said...

Does the same person write poomanam and my-think-pad??!! mildly shocking to see such different attitudes and writing styles..

shruti said...

ha ha ha ..oh sweetheart ..u bring back so many memories of cihldhood days .e.spcially this post ...just wnana hug u for this ..seems like all this happens across india .. specially reaifn mills and boon in the geography book .. or was it the atlas...neways i remember scolding my youngest sis for reading it ... I was such a bore !!

Joe said...

Great post!Got me laughing all the way...Thats wat i call Silverine at her best!! :p

Fleiger said...

Aah yes... my sis likes wearing punjabi dress and sarees a lot. And from what I know, 500 mtr rule is hard to pull using this apparel ;)

BTW, why bullet? Why not start with something your own size? ;)

SP said...

anjukutty, chirichu chirichu madhiyayi :-))amma idhu kando? ...and that reminds me that my daughter is reading an awful lot of geography these days hmmm

How do we know said...

Ha ha!! Really cute post!

Amooma said...

lol!my mom was ok. freedom enuff. so not joining th club! :p
was disillusioned abt the book within the book system very early on - a comic within a text in the lower primary by my father, and once caught, never again!!
ur stuff is really down to earth and tongue in cheek funny.
c u soon on the tractor ( from an observation post somewhere far away?)

Sandeep Pai said...

With the generation-gap, I have a feeling that everyone will feel that their mom is a conservative mom ... and thats here to stay.
A real cute post ...

HoliDevil said...

Jeez,
Thgt u jnd sm terror outfit n were practicing shooting, den I realized u tried riding a bullet.

BTW who z Rita Rudner

TC/Rgds

Fobbin said...

u r something!

Ajith said...

>>>>
I had to read the Constitution of India and Geography for Secondary Schools...because they were big enough to hide the M&B
>>>>>
-- Thats a good one :D .
-- I tried reading M&B once ..and dropped off that becoz I got confused who's the guy/gal among Mills and Boon :) ... Though I've seen some guys reading these romance stuff, I've heard the popularity of these books are very high among girls.. Wonder why ?? Any insights ?

Ats said...

Hey, great post as usual :) ...

Been following your blog for a while, but never got around to commenting..

You have style, lady.. Cheers...

Sameera said...

awesome post!
nice humor and i soooo understand what ur saying :D

silverine said...

gmg: Well I must thank you for dropping by first, love to read real life travel experiences :)

shruti: Thank you dear! Your comments have so much warmth in them :)

ganesh: Hope the shock wasn't too much :p

Joey: Thank you dear :)

fleiger: Ah the sarees can also be substituted for the T Shirt ;)
"Why not start with something your own size?" And with that MCP statement you have just tarnished your halo O Patron Saint of commenters :|

SP: :p

amooma: Thank you dear, but I insist that you ride with me in the tractor :p

how do we know: Thank you :)

sandeep pai: Very true!

holidevil: Google and see :)

Fobbin: :)

Ajith: Its lovely to escape for a few hours into a world where every man is Mr Perfect ;)

ats: Thank you and thanks for commenting :)

sameera: heh heh and I soooo believe you :)

accidental diva said...

Lol...guess our parents could be great friends:):):):)

my mom made life pretty much terrible for me, but then looking back I realize just how right she was...every single time!!!:)

no matter how much I crib... mom rocks:):):)

Fleiger said...

Hey, even I don't try to ride a bullet...
Tell me what would have happened if the goat or the cow was harmed? We don't want any harm to our favourite blogger you know... (Ok, those two sentences should be in different para)

*furiously polishing my halo*

Kusum said...

I and dad always thought that my mom is one of her kind * sigh * she has a soul sister- Your mom !!!

Iceman said...

all moms r super cool...

Ajith said...

:) That explanation was nice..May be we guys should look into M&B for perfection :D

Jay Sun said...

As always, nicely written... :)

Browser said...

Hey see if your mom's got a part of a soap dish hidden away somewhere. My mom has the top half....

Titash Roy said...

Nothing new can I add..I ain't a girl to share the feeling in the same way!

Jay Sun said...

Happy Woman's Day :)

Have a great year !

...no harm done by wishing you twice...right ?... :)

Perspective Inc. said...

Your post brought a smile to me... it was so well put!

Praveen said...

wow, this is an amazing piece, just couldnt stop reading till i got to the end :)... i didnt know you climb trees :), that does require some skill.

arethusa said...

Very funny. Very nice.

Anonymous said...

u have a fan in me babes ..:)