Thursday, August 17, 2006

Ad-dled

Independence Day holiday was a day of great languor and tremendous inactivity and the only physical movement I made that day, was get up from the floor every time the dogs pushed me down. It’s been a long time since I watched TV and I had almost forgotten how the contraption worked. So I curled up in bed with a cup of tea and two dogs and several ticks who were actually uninvited but I couldn’t do anything about it as they were my dogs guests. The ticks were very well behaved though.

The Television or TV for short is a wonderful and entertaining device. It shows a lot of commercials, which are sometimes interrupted with a few programmes like soaps, talk shows and News. The commercials being shown these days are just “wow”. Some of the commercials I liked are given below.

Pepsi TV

Kareena Kapoor: Hello viewers, today I shall show you how dumb you all are. *giggle* Have you heard of Pepsi TV? You haven’t? Me too. *giggle* But if you watch TV while sipping Pepsi, you are all dumb.
Priyanka Chopra (smiling coyly at viewers): I second that clever observation Kareena. These people are so dumb.

Pears Pink Soap

Mother: Kids, lets show these dumb people how we dance and sing on a weekday morning when most people are rushing to work and school.
Kids: wheeeee
Dad: And watch me lounge around in white pyjamas expressing amazement at this pansy pink soap while I should be stuck in a traffic jam on the way to office but since I am a model I don’t have to.

Saffola

Wife who spots hubby eating in the park: Look at him hog pani puri while he tells me that he is out jogging!!! Grrr I will teach him a lesson, I will buy Saffola.
Husband carrying wife: Wheee, see I can carry you; you have become so light though you bought the oil for me. Thank you saffola!!!

Nestle Munch

Rani Mukherjee: See me sit on the ship and eat Munch, yummy!! Why does this guy want to stand with me like Leonardo De Caprio and Kate Winslet in Titanic? I will just push him down the ship and then throw him the lifejacket.

Kellogs Cornflakes

Mom: Rahul please show these stupid people that you know Savita maasi’s number by heart because you eat Kellogs Cornflakes.
Rahul: "Twenty eight multiplied by three is eighty four, divided by two is forty two, so the number is 28384242"
Mother: Amazing!!! Come let us sit and eat Kellogs Cornflakes together, chumma just like that.

Krakfin Airhostess Training Institute

Poha Ali Khan: Arey Radha, what are you doing in that nice IT job that you can retire from? Dont you want to be an Air Hostess like me eventhough I am actually an actress and am only doing this for the money?!!

Friend: What to do I am not the daughter of an actress like you!

Poha: So what ? Krakfinn hai naah.

Poha and Friends in Air Hostess Costumes: Look at us... when you pass out of Krankfin you get to wear these cool Air Hostesses clothes and a certificate to boot too. See us pretending to fly with our arms stretched under an aircraft taking off breaking all aviation rules. You too can pretend to fly too if you join Krakfin.


Whirlpool

Ajay Devgun: oops my daughter just dropped Tomato Ketchup on my shirt.
Kajol: Thank you dear daughter, now we will show these people how Whirpool magic will wash and remove stain which can be done by any other washing machine too.
Whirlpool Stain Wash ke six sense. Hotwash aur one-two, one-two handwash mitaye chhey ziddi daag for perfect dhulayi.

Next day getting ready, Ajay Devgun deliberately drops some ketchup on his white shirt. As his shocked wife and daughter ask the reason:
Ajay: Fight scene hai …besides I don't know what else to say this script is so stupid, so just look indulgently at me you two.


Maggi Noodles

Autorickshaw Driver to Priety Zinta: Madam panch rupey aur doge though I dont know why I am asking for more...
Priety Zinta: Will you take Maggi Noodles? Because it is only five rupees and I can go and buy one and give you one instead of giving you five rupees as you asked.
Autorickshaw Driver: Maggi noodle aur panch rupey mein?
Priety Zinta carrying a Maggi packet and singing: Maggi chota pack, bas panch rupey ka only.
Sanjh subah har bacha khaye, lehar mazey ki daud gayi.
Kyon kahin aap bhi bekhabar to nahin. Maggi noodles ka chota pack...dam sirf paanch rupey
I-know-I-am-making-no-sense-but-what-the-heck-I-get-paid-to-sing- carrying-this-stupid-packet. I-hope-it-is-not-carcinogenic-but-I-don’t-care-because-I-don’t-eat-it.


Saffola Mom

A football match is in progress on the school grounds. The rain comes down in torrents, but the kids continue the game. A Saffola mom carries an umbrella and runs behind her son like a moron, shielding him from the rain.

The first half of the match was tied at 2-2, since Mom prevented free play with her umbrella, however the Non Mom Team reflecting their brilliance went ahead, pleasing the crowd, then Mom came in between and Sons Team not only equalized but went 2-1 up. There were cheers as we hear Apne bache ki dekhbhaal ke liye aap kitnimushkilein uthaaiyegin? NayaSaffola NutriBlend, jismein hai...internationally research kiya gaya Oryzanol aur Vitamin E. Aapke parivaar ki surakhsha ke liye...Saffola.

Even my dogs groaned and covered their eyes with their paws at this juncture.

There was no second half in this game because by now the message was loud and clear, "avoid playing with boys whose mom uses Saffola"

I swear after this, the ticks jumped onto the remote and switched the TV off. But no one believes me.

64 comments:

Immigrant in Canada said...

ROFL
Are the ticks still around? Behaving well??

manuscrypts said...

sigh.. tick everything... advertising has gone to the dogs!! wonder if the dogs want it..

Asterix said...

My favourite ads are the insurance ones. Where they show some sugary-sweet shit, like an old man refusing financial help from his son, or a proud dad paying his daughter's college fee. Man! I had to undergo treatment for diabetes each time I saw that crap. Why is it that these insurance/mutual-funds/health-plan ads always desperately try to tug at the viewer's hearts ??? Each time I watch them I am reminded of Robert DeNiro's crying scene in Analysis This.

neihal said...

Lol...You made good use of I-Day :)

Sanjay said...

Did you know that now a days you can get an umberella with your TV for just 200 peanuts per month. The offer is from Tata Sky. Its nice to know that the sky is getting branded too.
Me thinks the ticks dont like Safolla cause it dosent make the dogs fat. Ticks like fat dogs. I heard this from a reliable source.
Thank God footer games have just 1 comm break

Inder said...

tv commercials rock. a local channel here telecasts programs for indians viewers for an hour or so every day. of all the indian commercials, they show 'fair and handsome' ad alone.

indian tourism department's 'incredible india' tv campaign along with promotional ads by states like kerala, rajastan are shown in bbc and cnn.

and then, aishwarya rai flashes her smile in a l'oreal ad.

Dhanush said...

Ha Ha NKUC :)

That Autowallah must be from Bangalore

Cool One. But how come u missed the HDFC ad .. Na Sar Jhuka Hai Kahee... Thats the most fundoo one ;)

aqua said...

:) Purane advrts yaad arree!

Washing Powder Nirma...

Me kon hoo? Me khaha hoo(Tendulkar)

Karlo Duniya Mutti me..Oh Maaa(Sehwag)

Vicco Vajradhandi..

Vicco turmeric nahi cosmetic..

Michael's tea oru sheelamakku..(An old Radio advrt)

List goes on and on..

moontalk said...

ROFL!! it was just the other day when a friend and i were considering quitting out jobs to join advertising, to save the industry from complete doom :D we tot it was bout time we took some concrete action....then we decided against it.as it is, there are enuff nutters around! :D

quills said...

LOL! Glad to see you enjoyed ID and in such lovely company. Ticks are misunderstood creatures I guess. :)

Yeah you have captured some 'classy' ads here..:), but you know some of the other ones are quite funny like the Naukri ad for one. :)

Lalit Singh said...

the ticks jumped onto the remote and switched the TV off
Wat else cd the poor guys do when u were subjecting them to this third degree torture

Punoos said...

R O F L M A O =))
This is so MAD magazinish...superb!!!!

Nikhil Narayanan said...

Hey!!
Howz u now..
u jus wrote how the ticks were....

Hope u fine :P

mathew said...

Lol!!!..my fav is Franklin airhosting training institute..somethng like that.."creativity" cant get better!!..plz have a look if u havent...i just love to share "nice" moments !!!

Lazith Aziz said...

Sometime back " Main Intezaar Karoongi" was good of some paint guys not sure "Asian Paints" or Nerolac"..and now following that they have screwed up the new one..

Am sure you also know that there is lot of sweat n blood which goes into 15-30 secs of ad making..

Connor's Corner said...

I so totally agree... some of these ads seem to have been made by dimwits!!

G said...

For those who would like to know, I like that Na Sar Jhuka Hai Kahee ad. The expressions are priceless, the music brilliant and the concept a whole lot easier to understand. All the other insurance ads are complete bollocks, none more so than the dude who is taking Retirement, Sirf kaam se.

Can we take a poll on what everyone thinks is possibly the worst ad on indian telly today?

Most ads are trash. Most good ads are ripoffs from foreign ads. Right now, my favourite ad is the Sony Ericcson fone one, the one with the chunari song. The guy's dance moves at the end are a treat!

lash said...

airhostess training academy was a PICK!! a real PICK silverine... :))

whoah how much i love that ad for all the fake hope it gives to my young neighbor. such a torturing ad!!!

but there is a real good one i came across a week back or so.. that was this new hapy dent white ad.. a guy running around in frenzy and the whole area lighted by peole's TEETH! imagine that!!!

... those cunning 20 secs can be very funny at times and equally depressing most of the times.

Mind Curry said...

moral of the story: always respect your dogs guests.

even i think the pepsi tv ad is one of the silliest i have ever seen. i always wonder why colas, given their big budgets, bring out some of the worst and dead ads ever in india. zero creativity. perhaps its for mass appeal? i dunno..

your take on the saffola and kellogs ad was hilarious! both are so irritating otherwise! another is ICICI Lombardo with that song "nazar.." eating into your brains!

L . Hyena said...

hmm...makes me wonder. Whatever happened to the good old commercials starring our very own sita maiyya from the ramayana!

Sita maiyya: "Jab vahi safedhi, vahi jhaag, kam damon mein mile, tho koi ye kyon le? voh na le?"

Banya: "Man gaye!"

SM: "kise?"

B: "Aapki paar ki nazar, aur NIRMA super ... donon ko!"

ahh...those were the days...

silverine said...

Sarah: The ticks are recovering from the shock :p

Manuscrypts: Very good question!! :))

asterix: I hate that ad showing the overly dressed and made up old man getting of an Indian Railways coach and his wife dressed like a character from the Saas Bahu Serial.

neihal: Hope so :)

sanjay: I must verfiy this information from the ticks :))

inder: The tourism ads are ok. They don't show silly stupid people mouthing stupid dialogues and fake smiles.

dhanush: There were too many to choose from so had to restrict myself to these :)

acqua: Washing powder Nirma wasnot offensive to people's intelligence like some of todays ads :)

moontalk: LOL good you didnt join the nutters :))

Quills: The Naukri ad is superb work!!!

lalit: You are right, hope the SPCA doesn't come to about this brr

punoos: Thank you :)

Nikhil: The ticks saved my life and sanity :p

Mathew: Your suggestion has been carried out. I have done the Air Hostess ad thank you for the tip :)

Lazith: Sweat or blood, I aint watching bad ads :))

connors corner: High five gal!!!

G: The concept of this ad is good though the over dressed old couple a little hard to digest :) You are right most ad are trash and I blame the marketing people and not agencies for this. a poll sounds good actually!

lash: That was Mathew's idea, he is the guy with the splendid though fals moush :)) I heard that acaemy is a rip off!!! That happy dent ad is a copy of a foreign ad.

mind curry: Amen!!! All hail the ticks :p You know you really cant blame the agency people, the marketing guys have a lot of say in the making of an ad, this I can vouch for. My fav among these spoofs is the Nestle Munch. I was rofl while writing that. See it and then you will know why :))

l.hyena: Nice to see you after a long time. I remember that ad!

Eclipsed Thoughts said...

ROFL...
haha...!!! i always liked the indian ads... i guess i am gonna like them even more now. haha!!!
By the way, seems you were pretty intimate with the ticks by the end of the ad-shows... hmmm... just wondering what names they would have??? hmmm... ticky, sicky...hmmm...
plz enlighten!

Rockus said...

:))
Those are pretty handy ticks...could you lent them...needs to stop mommy's soaps without getting my head bashed!

Janus said...

guys..for sheer hilarious appeal please do recall the BSNL ad..I am not aware of its frequency across different parts of India..but for the uninitiated...it goes like this...

Guy and lawyer 'ungle' standing at a bus stop in the rain...

Lawyer 'ungle' uses his BSNL cell phone and calls a pandit ji..regarding the marriage of his daughter.

pandit ji calls up an aunty...again on his BSNL cell...

Aunty call up another aunty..

The another aunty calls up her son..
" Rahul..ek rishta aaya hai..vakil ke beti hai,naam hai pooja.."

meanwhile..while the young man is receiving this call..an auto stops, a dame peers out, and beckons the 'ungle' to come in..'ungle' says..Pooja beti..young man rahul says.." Maa mujhe pasand hai" ...and I can be found ROTFL..because BSNL says.." choti si duniya !!"

G said...

Janus - hehe, Mujhe Pasand Hai Maa is a crackerjack alrite! Worse are the the other BSNL ads. The one where the family bahu prays that all members of the family be granted the telephone connection they want and the other is momma's boy who is called by momma. The 'Maa!!' is inhuman!

Who all thought the 'Oye Bubbly' ad, the first one with the voices was cool? The voices were brilliant. I never switched channels when that ad came on. Right from Saif to AB to Shaggy to Viru Sehwag - brilliant.

And yeah, Naukri ads are brilliant. Love the music!

Fleiger said...

So, first the dogs got bored, then the tics shut down the TV, but still your threshold was not crossed? Your patience must be very high...

silverine said...

eclipsed thoughts: Our ads are zara hatke :p Hmm the names you suggest for the ticks are quite nice actually... :))

rockus: Don't mess with your mom when she is watching those tear jerkers, nothing short of an earthquake that damages the TV will help :))

Janus: That ad is actually hilarious because it is so stupid LOL

fleiger: Yes it is :)

Fleiger said...

Hmm... were there any ads from "Air Hostess school" where air hostesses are taught to help senior citizens dress and rescue pets etc etc? Those are the best.

Anonymous said...

Anju

Commercials I Hate

Check this out!

Chanel

Kusum Rohra said...

ROTFL. The pears guys need to see me getting ready in the morning :D

The most irritating ad amongst the ones listed here is the Airhostess training institute ad.

Oh and by the way silver you are absolutely Hilarious!!!! (Like you have been told a zillion times)

sugar n spice said...

ticks?? whassat??

and of course, me =)) :D

turncoat said...

Absolutely hilarious!!!

hmmm next time I read your posts on an empty stomach ;-)

Jeseem said...

no wonder ads are so boring.
these lazy people in media businees, happily sitting at home , with there dog :P
just kidding.
good post, but pretty loooooong one

LI said...

The problem with the people working in adevrtising and communications is that they assume everybody else is dumb :) . The only problem is that only ticks realise this and few ppl who invented remotes :).

silverine said...

Fleiger; Those ads are dumb!!!!

Chanel: Thanks dee, damn good site!

Kusum: Thank you dear, he he imagining you rushing around in the morning and then remembering the Pears ad, what a contrast LOL
p.s. Have corrected my comment on your post. I meant I endorse number two, am a very material gal :)

Sugar n Spice: Ticks are small parasites that live on animals :)

turncoat: Thank you dear, know how you feel, I lost my dinner due to that doc mind curry the other day :p

jeseem: Thanks :)

Lijo: lol...these ticks are stealing my shine grrrr
:))

Alexis Leon said...

That was an exceptionally brilliant take on the ads. I also feel that I am watching the programs in between the serials rathter than the other way round. I was ROFL.

The Munch, Whirlpool, Maggie noodles and Kellog were simply brilliant.

anup.777 said...

I believe you!!! :)

ya ... TV sure has its share of lame ads .. but some are downright good ... i really liked the Indica one ... where the guy keeps getting puched in the face for lying ... "i love u" ..pow! "i really do" pow! ... hehe .. that part was hilarious!

Anonymous said...

I haven't laughed like this in ages. Thanks!!

Fleiger said...

Weren't there any "pithy gals wear pithy dresses smile odee time"?

starry nights said...

This is a really hilarious post.loved it

fao san said...

just finished reading every single post in the archives! *crawls to the nearest IV stand* i haven't done a stroke of work all day! ellaam thaan kaarnum! x-(

silverine said...

Alexis: Thank you, your comments means a lot cos this was a totally write as you see post, am glad you got it :) The Munch is my fav too, I was shell shocked when I saw that ad, it was absolute rock bottom stupidity !

anup.777: Thanks buddy that Incidca ad like the Naukri (ad Hari Sadu)was superb. But the rest...takes the cake in thinking that we are all dumb!!!

Anon: Thank you :)

fleiger; All these ads have pithy gals in pithy dresses mouthing not so pithy dialogues lol

starry nights: Thank you :)

fao san: lol thank you *silverine takes a bow*

Fleiger said...

Ok, so that's the category Indian audience comes in ;) Remember for your next India ad...

I miss Fevicol ads. It didn't have any of those.

Brand Equity has a column where they give the best and worst ad of the week (voted by their panel) It's a good read.

And how can you forget the best ad of all, Minto Fresh... minto fresh...

Dr. Pissed said...

haha
Sheesh, its been a while no?

In any case, its fun to laugh at the same industry that I serve or used to serve. How I hated it when these scripts would land at our office almost every single day from the BBDOs, the Mudras.. :(
I cant even have an impressive portfolio thanks to them! God damm!

Anyways, your as funny as ever man. Keep me laughing :)

Praveen said...

the best thing i liked was when you say, the commercials are interrupted by soaps,news and stuff, thats so true but its a real nice way to put it :).

But there are a few intelligent ads out there, its funny but i cant think of any at the moment :)

Anand K said...

LOL!

But I gotta assure you.... on a general level, ads here are much better than in the US. Those ads of Fevicol with hero-heroine on bridge, chicken eating the grains with fevicol mixed into them.... that cement ad where Hiranyakashipu tries to break the pillar to challenge Prahlad's uvaacha that "daivam thoonilum thurumbilum undu", only to find the pillar won't break.. Shankar cement alle?" says the voiceover helpfully.... that endearing detergent ad with that little bro-sis duo, lotsa great ads coming out..
Still, like the ones you mentioned there are ads which are absolutely sensless.... as appealing as a gory road accident! The worst I can think of is VIP underwear (Remember that one? "What has he got better than meeeeeee?!" :D ) and that AntiMarie squad starring Kajol. Sheesh.... I can make a better ad, with V.S.Achutanandan!

PS: Belated Happy Independence Day, Silverbhehen!

shruti said...

He he .girl u rock ..ur right marketing guys do have a say ...but the way u have analysed the ads makes us feel like a bunch of fools ..who waste hours tryin to figure out the direction the company as a whole should take and how that has to be projected to the viewers .wht should the company emphasise on attributes of the product vs the aspirational value...how to position it and connect to the consumers..it almost gives us stomach ulcers , deadly nigthmares and insomnia till the ad is actually out and subsequently ridiculed to the hilt..upon which we realise that gosh we missed the message completely... actually marketing is a very global thing ,,at a very macro level and advertising even more intangible ..but somewher it does work to create brands and thats the beauty of it ...but ur take was too good girl ..we want a part 2..atleast I DO !!!

Salil said...

Lucky, you missed the atrocious Visa Sidhuism ad. Saw it once while watching the cricket, since then it's been an instant trigger for my mute button.

Safari Al said...

ROTFL. long time i no read. was busy sitting apti after apti and then turning up for intervies in my only clean clothes. 'campus' recruitments.

happy to say that, after four unsuccessful attempts i fooled a bunch of guys into hiring me on my fifth attempt.

in other words, i have a joe-b.

silverine said...

dr pissed: Tell me about it!! I have written such good scripts only to be butchered by the marketing people and the final results were grotesque. I had the same problem, a horrible portfolio, then I made my own portfolio. Do that, thats the only way out. And thanks da for commenting from ozzyland :)

Praveen: Sometimes it seems we have more commercials than actual
programmes :) I stopped buying Femina because it has also gone the same way.

Fleiger: I read that colum in Brand Equity.Fevicol ads were really good, but then we are talking about the bad ones here :)

Anandji: Lets not talk about the good ones, it is more fun to highlight the 'creativity' of the really bad ones isn't it? :p The VIP ads were sooooooo bad ROFL
Horrible!!!!

shruthi: A big *HUG* to ya for that comment. That is the exact sequence of events that happens. Thank you :) Second part sounds nice,,mebe I will attempt it ;)

salil: I haven't seen that ad, but it must be bad if you hit the mute button :))

safari al: CONGRATULATIONS!!! All the best for the road ahead!! and thanks for telling me too :)

Di said...

great blog.. :-)

Jiby said...

god...i havent seen tv in ages...and i'm just gonna see ur pokes in all these ads when i switch the idiot box on!!!

and what anand said is true...ads on US tv suck even more big time...actually one of my cousins who works in advertising there says she picks up a lot of her ideas when she comes to india each time!

Fleiger said...

The "kya milta hai aaj kal 2 rs. mein" (some bonds) and "tum husn-pari" (Soundarya sabun Nirma, the ad used to be played in a horrible translated version in theatres near us) ones? Those are...

Anyways, get those ticks in advertising agencies, and our lot will improve...

kevin varghese said...

you are absolutely addictive girl!!!! had to sit through the weekend and read the arhives... grr

am hooked :-)

monu said...

:)

http://www.epica-awards.com/

check the Ads ...worth watching :)

http://www.epica-awards.com/

ursjina said...

HIII...u r tagged..[my way of thinkin abt u..;)]

Grafxgurl said...

Indian commercials are hilarious! i love watching them lol even though theyre so stupid sometimes....it makes me miss India even more!!

Binoy, The One and Only said...

Isn't it your job too, related to ads and PR?
Just asking...

silverine said...

Di: Thank you and thanks for blogrolling me :)

Jiby: Enjoy!!! Some are laughable :))

fleiger: Good suggestion :)

Kevin: Thank you :)

Monu: Thank you, this is a regular site I visit, do check out Cresta Awards and London Int Adtvg awards too :)

Ursjina: Thank you, will take it up soon :)

Grafxgurl: Most of them are stupid while some really good ones can be seen now and then. Thank you for dropping by :)

Binoy: Yep, but I the big releases are done by the agencies.

Sameera said...

lollllll

first timer here..came from hirens blog

awesome post woman

Gulam Hasan said...

Hahaha
tht was hilarious!

silverine said...

Sameera: Thanks gurl and thanks for dropping by :)

gulam hasan: Thanks buddy :)

Anonymous said...

ROTFL...that pepsitv add is the worst add ever...LOL!!

that girl in pink said...

:) you came highly reccomended by someone. glad i checked you out. yes, ads are a menance and i'm just sad the poor ticks also had to be subjected to them!