Saturday, April 22, 2006

Raja

Last year on her visit to Kerala my mom picked up an unusual pet. The dogs at home were ‘foreign’ breeds unlike the mallu mongrels (the canine breed dear reader) that roam the sylvan Kerala countryside she said. So she decided that she would bring something from her native place that would remind her of home. Imagine our shock when the good lady gets down from the car and removes a cane basket from the boot. Then with a mysterious glint in her eyes she walks into the house. After looking at each other in bemusement and wondering aloud about creature she has picked up from Kerala, we hurried inside.

She was in the backyard, gingerly opening the lid of the basket. As soon as she opened the lid, there was a fluttering and squawking and out jumped an enormous ‘naadan’ Rooster. The rooster took to his heels and ran helter skelter as though exercising his legs after the long journey cramped in the economy class of the basket. The four of us i.e. Dad, my brothers couldn’t believe our eyes. Of all the creatures in the world my mom thought of a Rooster????

After our rather dramatic introduction to the rooster, we were told by his proud owner i.e. my mom that she had decided to call him Raja!!! There was pin drop silence after she dropped this bit of info. I could almost touch the wise cracks that were hanging in the air unsaid, but we wisely refrained from clever remarks till later, like when she was out of earshot. Before my Dad could say "So when will we get to taste Raja?" my mom shot down the question with a "Don’t even think about it!" After 30 years of marriage, she knew that this would be first thing that would come to his mind.

The first thing my mom learnt rather painfully was that Raja was a hot-blooded young man, much vaunt to showing off in front of the ‘ladies’ from the village nearby. So it was difficult to keep him within the four walls of our compound. He easily flew to the wall and jumped down for his trysts with the ‘ladies’. My Dad thought that Raja had great potential. He told my mom rather flippantly that if she charged a rupee for every one of his ‘trysts’ she would be a millionaire by the end of the month. The remark didn’t go down too well and further explanations are with held.

The second painful lesson my Mom learnt was that since the time she had learned English way back in the 70’s, the language had changed quite a bit. So when she asked me "Where is the cock?" she couldn’t comprehend the reaction from my brother and his friends lounging nearby. The resultant explanation given by me left her rather red faced. She never used the ‘English’ word again and stuck by the mallu word “Kozhipoovan”.

Raja was a rebel too. He would crow only when the fancy struck him or a ‘lady’ passed by. He refused to wake up the household in the morning. He didn’t quite feel that it was his style. So just when we are having evening tea, he would let out a lusty “Cock-a-doodle dooo” startling us out of our skins. Once he shook the house with his crowing at 4 am. I didn’t know till then that my Dad could curse so fluently even at such an unearthly hour.

Then came disaster in the form of Mr. Rao, who had a clutch of Leghorn layers (egg laying birds) in his yard. Mr. Rao was an organic farmer and his brood was totally bought up on organic food. Raja in all honesty felt he was a very "organic" fellow and the result was disastrous. His "organic" trysts were soon discovered by Mr. Rao, who gave an earful to my Dad in very "inorganic" language.

Soon it became apparent to my Mom that she would have to curtail the love life of The King of good times or spend the rest of her days in various lower courts. My brother thought "Tandoori Raja" would be an excellent idea in curtailment. My mother told him rather sarcastically that if "Tandoori Raja" was a sure fire cure then she wouldn’t mind trying "Tandoori Son" very soon.

Finally after much conferring with our Vet, my Mom decided to build an enclosure to keep Raja’s libido in check...err I mean Raja in check. He is right now in his brand new enclosure and not too happy about it. And if I stay here another second, his loud protest crowing and clucking will drive me nuts. I have been so ready since early morning to go to the airport for the evening flight.

See you folks next week. Take care. I am off to Simla :)

53 comments:

paresh said...

rofl !!

Bon Jour!

silverine said...

@Paresh: Thank you Monsieur :)

Mind Curry said...

Before my Dad could say "So when will we get to taste Raja?"
sooooo hilarious!!
just loved this post! excellent..

simla!!! enjoy girl..we will all miss you..come back with lots of thoughts, memories and all things good. take care!

Lazith Aziz said...

Dont miss kufri..

Enchai!

Lazith Aziz said...

bring a snowman.........

Binoy, The One and Only said...

Long long ago I too had a rooster... when my mom thought it would be a nice idea to have a couple of fowls and a micro-poultry farm... Only to see my "raja" (We didn't name any of them, but I guess, I should do it now) being carried away and eaten by the neighbour's dog. Ok, I was upset and it was natural that I stoned the neighbour's dog..er "bricked" would be the proper term, I had thrown whole bricks on it, an event which led me to be the junior shot-put champion of my school. Well, my neighbour didn't approve and the turf war began....

But seriously, great post! Enjoy your time in Simla

>|' ; '| said...

bon voyage!

kozhi katha apaaram =))

Fleiger said...

Glückliche Reise!!! May you have (had) a perfectly Roosterfree week in Simla! (Well, you are going to be back by the time you read this, right?)

The Great Eagle has spoken...

silverine said...

@mindcurry: Thank you :) I need this break so desperately!!
@Lazith: Thank you dear. Nice to see you here :)
@Binoy: My Mom is a veteran of many a losing turf wars cos of Raja :)) I am sure I will enjoy the break from work anywhere
@Poison: Thank you :) Raja is the King of Good times :))
@Fleiger: Thank you. I am carrying my Laptop so will be able to log in. Rooster free week sounds so good :) Next comment from Simla!

Uncle J..aka Jaguu... said...

:)


I guess Your Raja's song everytime "Ladies" passed by would be "Raja ko Rani se Pyaar Ho gaya..." LOL!!!

Have a Blast @ mountains Senorita!!!!

Alexis Leon said...

Hilarious post.

Have a nice holidays. Enjoy...

quills said...

Haha!! Girl you are funny!!

Have a lovely trip.:)

Fleiger said...

Aah... the conforts of carrying a laptop. I don't know how I survived last 2 years without one, now that I have one ;) But tell me, are you really planning to sit using laptop once you get to Simla? If so, looking forward to good posts on your exp there.

Luckily in out house, the definition of "pet" extends to dog and parrot. For my mother, it can only stretch to parrot. So we are luckily safe from any exotica in animal kingdom.

Immigrant in Canada said...

tandoori raja and tandoori son!!!lil..
hv fun and a jolly good trip

Leon said...

I loved this post.. Non-veg jokes are very popular in my family too with my dad being the leader.. On a road trip he would talk of rounding up the herds of sheep and goats that we pass and stacking them on top of the car.. lol.

The 'cock' joke reminds me of the time I asked for shuttle"cocks" in our gym in my first semester. They call them 'birdies' here... hehe

"Tandoori raja" sounds very appealing (sigh).. It's been soooo long since I've had tandoori chicken.. :-(

Leon said...

Vacation with family or friends?

Have a blast.. :-)

calvin said...

Bellaari Raja.. Hehe
"So when will we get to taste Raja?"
=)) .. Dude my Mom just peeked in and asked me whats wrong..since i was lughing my head off.

venus said...

hey girl!! Simla?!?! are you working part time or vacationing part time?? few days back goa, and now simal?!? :P:)

Have fun there! may the great himalayas enlighten this silver soul, and don't forget to bring more stories to share with us!!

monu said...

wow that was a nice "cocktail" :D .....

enjoy the trip... :)

Praveen said...

That was a super post, have fun in simla :)

Lalit Singh said...

lols..hilarious....poor Raja

Have a nice trip

silverine said...

@Uncle Jaggu: Plurals please…it's Rani's. Raja is a ladies man :p
@Alexis: Thank you :)
@Quills: Thank you dear. Am in the Delhi outskirts for a wedding, will reach Simla tomorrow.
@Great Eagle: Laptop is to make sure that my mail box doesn't get full. Other wise it will be used for decoration purposes only:)) We had a parrot too, but it became hors d'oeuvres for the neighbours cat.
@Immigrantincanada: My mom is a very sharp tongued Pala achayathi ;)
@Leon: Your Dad is cool!!! I miss the days when Dad used to drive. He would sudenly ask "who wants Mutton Biryani?" and then proceed to chase the goats on the road. We always went on holidays by road. The drive was so much fun, made more interesting with Dad's pranks. This is vacation with parents :)Thanks for the info on 'birdies' he he :))
@Aashik: The travails of a young and lonely Rooster....:))
@Venus: Goa was last Diwali vacation when we had about 7 public hols in a row. Looking forward to seeing the Himalayas tomorrow :)
@Monu: Thanks :)
@Praveen: So nice to see you after so many days. You must be the MD of your company by now at the rate at which you are working :)
@Lalit: Poor Ranjha indeed (note the spelling). And poor Heers too :))

HoliDevil said...

Hilarious

Ur namesake does exist in the form of a hotel in Shimla

Jiby said...

haha...laughed a lot abt wht u wrote on the english language changing since the 70's...i have a tough time educating my parents too!!!
good one!

1.618 said...

how do you get so many holidays?

anywayz, enjoy..

starry nights said...

Loved this post. have fun in simla

Sujit said...

simal.. wow great! have a great trip!!.. enjoy

Praveen said...

Not even close to being an MD. I am just a "pavam tozhlali" :).

Anand K said...

A rooster for a pet? Named Raja?! In Bangalore metropolis?!!

ROFL..... I'm getting outta here! It's hard for me to keep suppressing the PRESSING need to blab torrents of double meaning wisecracks!

Peace. :P

Srijith Unni said...

Hi,

Nice Post. I never realized that a rooster is also a pet until I read this.. ;-))

But, considering Kerala to be having lots of other pets as well, (I used to ask my mother whether I can take a tiny king cobra, from the sarpathara as a pet, to my home in chennai)Raja is a good choice.

Enjoyed this post.

Regards,
Srijith.

silverine said...

@Holidevil: Nice to see you again. I passed that hotel today as we drove into Simla :) Even the Lotus shaped cactus is called silverine.
@Jiby: The bloopers my parents made when they went to States still makes me blush :))
@1.168: Last hols was last November when we had 7 public holidays like Karnataka Day, Diwali, Id etc that fell in a row.
@starry nights: Thank you dear :)
@Praveen: Ok, then at least a Manager? :))
@Anand: Actually he is not a my moms pet but that is her defence to ensure he doesn't get eaten up. And the wise cracks about Raja that abound in the male family circle is something I will not reveal here he he :)) (pssst I think it is sheer jealousy)
@Sreejith: Talking of pets I have seen snakes, a mongoose and some other assorted animals that my brother had since childhood. Thanks for dropping by :)
@lazith: I got your mail, but my laptop is playing up and I dunno if I will be able to help you in time. I will def try!

Anonymous said...

I am such a big fan of your blog. Been reading it for as long as I can remember. Keep writing.

S

Fleiger said...

May his sould rest in his favourite tree!!!

Anyways, you name a rooster "Raja", and then are surprised at his attempts to start a janankhana (harem is Arebic tradition)? If anything, he is ardent follower of tradition ;)

Lost in trance... said...

sounds like one hell of a cock huh? :D

tcr_79 said...

Great - good post

Thanu said...

One of my families here bought a rooster and then as it grew oler it started crowing everymorning like 3.00 am, 4.00am. Neighbors complained and my cousins enjoyed a ver good kozi curry

Gladtomeetin said...

Hey cool one...The "Tandoori Raja" and the "Tandoori Son" was tooo good :-))

Jeremy Ryan said...

Have a great trip, silverine

Jeremy Ryan said...

also, I was wondering if it would be okay for me to link to your blog from mine. Lemme know.

silverine said...

@Fleiger: May his sould rest in his favourite tree LOL
He is def a follower of tradition :))
@lostintrance: LOL, but they all are if you have noticed :))
@tcr_79: Thanks buddy :)
@Thanu: So true, they do such things, but in Kerala I have seen them behaving like normal roosters. And kozhi curry made of a rooster would be tough and chewy :))
@Gladtomeetin: The guys like to tease mom by threatening to eat Raja, gets her all heckled up :))Rooster meat is useless anyway.
@Jeremy: Thank you and honored to figure in your blog roll :)

Alit said...

nice one :)
I think, once you are back, you should convey the adulations and empathies pouring on to Raja, from the blogging community.
And what’s more, this is a first. No other “Cock” has been so widely read and commented up on-;))

flaashgordon said...

Lol !Nice story !!it'll be a pity to Tandoorofy Raja after all this outpouring of support from the bloggin community !

Rememebr havin a Rooster at home long long ago who wouldnt let me or my li'l sis step into the backyard.He used to chase away anyone who entered his realm- the backyard and we didnt exactly want to risk his sharp beak. And one morning my sis (all of 7 years) forgot about the Rooster and stepped out into the backyard!! Out of nowhere he lunged and pecked her on the leg!Her resultant howls woke the neighbourhood !!

However, the next day she took revenge. After the rooster was in his coop, she donned a bedsheet over the head (which was on the clothesline for drying) and applied some talcum powder stripes on face for effect..Now she went to the coop and went Grrrrr.... grrrrr...


:-))

cheers
flaash

Fleiger said...

Right, that was "dear departed soul" The "D" factor came in at wrong place.

And say, now that you are in Simla, who is keeping an eye out on Raja's adventures?

Chirikudukka said...

lolzzzzzz the great legend raja...haha

silverine said...

@Alit: LOL
@Flaash: My Grandma had a Turkey who was exactly the same. And his pecks were *ouch* painful!! He ruled the backyard, front yard and any other piece of land around the house. But what your lil sis did was so funny and so cute :)))
@Fleiger: I thought birds have 'soulds' :) Raja has many people to keep an eye on him ;)
@Ann: It looks like that. He has become a legend of sorts. But then he was a legend at home anywayz :))

Matter of Choice said...

so finally Rajah comes out of the coop huh??

I have been after this one for a while...i rather prefer grilled rajah rather than tandoori...could you do me a fav...marinate him well and i will soon be there to take charge!

Alas, i am now doing this only out of sympathy to Rajah. The women folks have figuratively castrated him!!...poor fellah

Fleiger said...

Birds don't have "sould"s. They get sold...

silverine said...

@MoC: At last Raja's sworn enemy slinks out into the open to comment. I like grilled commenters too specially the ones who like grilled rajas SF And the 'poor fellah' is very much the stud muffin thanks to the freedom given to him by the lady who owns him ;) LOL
@Great Eagle: So true :((

mathew said...

that was a funny read!!had a nice time laughin about it..

silverine said...

@mathew: Thank you for dropping in :)

പാപ്പാന്‍‌/mahout said...

This post was one of your best... ("kozhi", BTW, used to be slang for a ladies' man)

silverine said...

@Mahouth: Thank you :) I know about that term :))

Zebu Bull::മാണിക്കൻ said...

So many years, and this still made me laugh madly :)