Monday, September 06, 2010

Personality developers

Human beings are people and like most people they shape their personality from traits inherited from their parents, environment and the substances they snort or parents snorted. Any geneticists, sociologists or anthropologists will tell you that. But to hell with geneticists, sociologists and anthropologists. It is the Astrologers, the highly knowledgeable community of people with their highly complex and scientific study of human nature called Zodiac Signs that dictate what we are and what we will be.

Here is an example of what Zodiac predictions have done to the people over the years.

Aries: Arians are normal people who believe that they are creative, adaptive, and insightful and the life of the party, (even if they have never attended a party) because it is written in their Zodiac description. They also believe they have excellent sense of humor thanks to the Astrologers who have drawn up the Arian character map. Most failed stand up comedians and known PJ'ists are rumored to be Arians. Also most party crashers are Arians who cannot understand why despite Astrological proof they are often not invited for parties.

Taurus: Taureans are people who are born between April 20th and May 20th. This is another group of people who reject evolutionary theories and believe in their Zodiac sign that says that they are like the animal that represents them. They are all about strength, stamina and will. Stubborn by nature, also a loving, sympathetic and appreciative sign. This makes them very confused and the result is that most loving husbands turned wife beaters are Taureans.

Gemini: Geminians believe that they are flexible, balanced and adaptable. They believe they can turn from hot to cold and may be prone to noticeable mood swings but have tendencies of being affectionate, and imaginative. Most serial killers were normal people till they read that they were a Gemini.

Cancer: I belong to this group. Period. I am NOT a traditionalist, and DO NOT enjoy operating on a fundamental level. I HATE history and am not fascinated with the beginnings of things (heraldry, ancestry, etc.). The moon is NOT my ruler; therefore I am NOT a bit of a contradiction and sometimes moody. I am NOT conservative, which makes me hide my moods from others altogether. I do NOT have a reputation for being fickle. However I do HATE astrologers who tell me who I am hmmpph!

Virgo: Another set of cruelly wronged people who are pleasantly surprised to hear that they have keen minds, and are delightful to talk with, often convincing others of outlandish tales with ease and charm. And that they are inquisitive and are very skilled at drawing information from people. They do not protest to this generalization because they are taken in by this outlandish description.

Libra: Libran's believe that they are about balance, justice, equanimity and stability. According to the Zodiac they can be quiet and shy if not persuaded to come out of their shell. In spite of their introverted nature they make excellent debaters, often proving a point from out of seemingly nowhere. Most alcoholics are Librans. Their alcoholic ramblings are an excellent example of their debating nature.

Scorpio: These are people born between October 23rd and November 21st. They are born pretty normal. But Astrology ruins them. They believe they are Scorpions who according to Astrologers are often misunderstood creatures. They can surmount seemingly all obstacles when they put their mind to the task, and they have unshakable focus when the situation calls for it. Most people lying dead at the foot of mountains are Scorpios. The creator of Superman was also a closet Scorpio though he refuses to acknowledge it.

Sagittarius: A group of people who were born between November 22nd and December 21st, forced to believe that they are philosophers. They are told that they have great abilities for focus, and can be very intense but they must channelize their energy or they will waste time and wear themselves out going in too many directions at once. Most people, who refuse to look at maps, or ask directions and can be seen sitting on roadside philosophizing about being lost are Sagittarians. Columbus was a famous Sagittarian though he denies it vociferously.

Capricorn: Another group of people who are led to believe that they are damn philosophical, good organizers, and they achieve their goals by purposeful, systematic means. They do not deal well with opposition or criticism but a healthy Capricorn will often shrug off negative comments towards their character. Suresh Kalmadi and most of the Indian politicians are rumored to be Capricorns, though they may not admit it.

Aquarius: These are ordinary folks who believe that they are simple and unassuming, and go about accomplishing goals in a quiet, often unorthodox ways. They believe that though their methods may be unorthodox, but the results, are surprisingly effective. Jack the Ripper was rumored to be a an Aquarian. His mom says that he showed no tendency to violence till he read Bheja Daruwallahs' book. The cops are currently looking for Bejha Daruwallah as an accessory to murder.

Pisces: Pisceans are people who believe they are beautifully gentle, and generous and hence taken advantage of. In the end, however, the Pisces is often the victor of ill circumstance because of his/her intense determination. They become passionately devoted to a cause – particularly if they are championing for friends or family. Most members of the Gandhi family believe they are Pisceans.

Addendum

Leo: Leo's have been brainwashed into believing that they are about expanse, power and that they are natural born leaders, and they will let you know it as they have a tendency to be high-minded and vocal about their opinions. Most inmates of mental asylums are Leos, where they can be seen being high minded and vocal in their padded cells.

I rest my case.

Have a nice week folks!

31 comments:

Santhosh P said...

Now I dont know about the rest of u unlucky guys born for(not in the physical sense like the Pandavas I mean) other stars, But for us librans, one thing is absolutely correct , that our alcoholic ramblings are examples of our debating nature and believe me, v can prove a point from out of seemingly nowhere, and thats y most of us are either astrologers, god men or marketing guys. In that sense I would say the only science that can 'reason' human behaviour so far is astrology.

RGB said...

I'm not much into Zodiac signs, palmistry, astrology or any such thing, though it makes a good passtime when jobless people volunteer to foresee your future! Did they mention - skeptical, practical, rebellious, perfectionist, diplomatic...for the virgos? At least that's what I think I am!

krishnababu said...

"This makes them very confused and the result is that most loving husbands turned wife beaters are Taureans."

Good bless my wife.. ;) Nice read. Thank you.

Sreejith said...

You rightly decided not to mess with us leos.. muahahaha.. but seriously, I'm curious as to why leos were left out!!

mythalez said...

being an aquarian i tried to bring about an 'unorthodox' method into astrology:
http://mythalez.blogspot.com/2006/07/horrorscope.html

but it didnt really work now I know why!! :P

pallavi said...

ROFL!! That was an excellent post!! This is something that ought to be published along with the regular astro reading in the newspapers. Loved this.

Pradeep said...

Even I am not into this. Never read the zodiac column in newspaper... But I do personally find common traits among people, but that's never to do with date or month of birth. And I find a lot of contradictions in zodiac predictions. I think there are a lot of variables in one's lives to make a sweeping generalisation.

scorpiogenius said...

Are you sure about Scorpios?? :P I think you haven't met enough Scorpios around, only ones under the stone or at the foot of the mountain. Heven't you met genius scorpios, or atleast ones boasting so and blowing their own trumpets in the name of a silly epithet?? :D

Anonymous said...

Damn good post...quite loved it...I am the serial killer aka Gemini...interestingly from linda goodman to bejan daruwalla have predicted gemini's to be extremely fickle minded and inconsistent people grappling with multiple personality disorder(yeh yeh we were the ones who inspired sheldon to write "tell me ur dreams)...but alas I am nothing like that...christ! I am still working with the same orgn I joined after college and all my friends have knowm me for more than 5 years...and importantly I hate all the other gemini's in the organisation...making me wish if there was a way I could change my sun sign like the way people change their names;-)

Uma said...

HEY ANJALI WHY AM I NOT HERE....

I AM A LEO ;) ;)

Destiny's child... said...

You left out Leo! I was scrolling down with anticipation to get your take on Leo after those interesting ones :(
The funniest one's are those 'This day has in store for you' predictions...totally crap.

silverine said...

Dear friends, apologies for leaving out Leo. I have added the same :)

Shilpa said...

Lol..Excellent post!!

smitzy said...

wow.. this was a stunning, eye opening post :) I stopped believing in astrology when my predictions were wrong for 3 weeks running lol.. will come back for seconds :)

http://mishra-smita.blogspot.com

Destiny's child... said...

Thanks Silverine!
But that was a bit harsh. I mean, asylum? On second thoughts, I can picture myself there :D

Nona said...

Super!

Very good observations! Last week would have been the most productive week for you judging by the post!

The Holy Lama said...

You surprise me. It took you so long to see that the world's population can't be divided simply into 12 types. Really silverine:D

Hatikvah said...

Just when I thought you couldn't get any more howlarious, YOU JUST DID...

The Blue Indian said...

Only a Cancerian could have written this. It is their trait.

sambarman said...

rightly said, being a cancerian myself, the first thing I did was to scroll down to see what it tells about me. After reading it, I too feel that you are right.

Jyothi said...

I am shocked at the precise manner your descriptions suit the people I know. Maybe there IS something in this Zodiac traits stuff! Nice Blog you have here.

shail said...

I am a Cancerian too and I am clapping my hands in appreciation! :D

Hilarious post :)

blunt edges said...

Piscean here! So I'm beautifully gentle and generous. And apparently this leads to people taking advantage of me! Strangely enough, no girl seems to be interested in taking advantage of me ;)

Abraham Menacherry said...

A true believer would say that your parents got your birthday wrong....:) and that you are truly a Taurean or some such...:D

totalliemeh said...

am a leo. so i now have an excuse for being insane?

Grayquill said...

You are funny and a bit sarcastic. Astrology bores me and it think a big waste, so I almost skip your post. Sorry! I am glad I did not miss it. A fun read.

Unknown!!! said...

from the intro i thgt was a very serious post..so curiously i jumped to my zodiac.. aquarius.. saw the jack the ripper..then understood :P..later read the whole thing.. hilarious one :)

AS said...

hiii

heheh! nic one it is :)

and i fully agree with Addendum :P

silverine said...

Thank you dear readers for your comments :)

Anonymous said...

You were too harsh on taureans. :( Especially the last line. :p

Alka Gurha said...

Nice post,I started blogging recently. Am glad I found Silverline...Having lived in Blore for several years I hv spl affinity for Bloreans...U seem to be a veteran in blogging....Do u manage to earn out of it?