Alarmed by the rapid decline in the Tiger population in our country, the Indian government decides to send a Minister to China, the largest consumer of Tiger meat. According to reports, not a single part of the Tiger is wasted in China. The Indian Minister (IM) and his Aide are given a warm welcome in China and the Chinese Premier (CP) meets him in his office the next day.
CP (bowing): Welcome to the most glorious, democratic, progressive, shining and the most rapidly developing country in the world.
IM: Thank you for the lengthy err warm welcome Premier. I am delighted to be in your beautiful country and honored by your graciousness to give me an audience.
CP (bowing again): Thank you! We will start our meeting with some Chinese delicacies. I hope you like it.
IM: Chinese cuisine is our national cuisine heh heh.
CP: Then you will like this special soup.
IM: What soup is this?
CP (beaming): Tigers tail soup!
IM: What!!!! Err I mean thank you. It is err delicious ewww.
CP (proudly): I knew you will like it. And now tell me honorable minster, what brings you to our happy country.
IM: Well… it’s like this. As you may know the Tiger is our national animal…
CP: But of course. We love the Indian Tiger.
IM (hopefully): You do?? That’s a relief to hear. I am here to discuss about the Tiger.
CP (holding his palm up). Wait, first you must taste this signature dish. It was made in memory of the late revolutionary Pin Wung Wao.
IM (nervously) : I am afraid to ask what it is.
CP: Tiger rib stir fry!!! C’mon try it!!
IM (mournfully): Well I might as well try it…Sigh.
CP: You were saying something about the Tiger.
IM (brightening up): Yes! We Indians love our national animal and now want to do something concrete for its welfare.
CP: That is nice. We in China welcome such a move.
IM: You do? That is very heartening news indeed!!
CP: We Chinese men get our ahem “drive” from Tiger testicle soup you know *wink* *wink*
IP: Heh heh I know. *sob*
CP: We would hate to lose that hahahahaha!
IM(desperately): I need some water.
CP: No no no!!! That will spoil your appetite!
IM: For what? Wait, why am I asking this question. :(
CP: For Tiger Manchurian in hot garlic sauce!!
IM: *sob* Is there anything else for Lunch?
CP: Of course. There is Tiger head schezwan, Tiger belly Cantonese, Tiger lung wung pao, Tiger neck stew and……
IM (looking green): I am not feeling too well….
CP: ...and Tiger paw fried, Hunan style.
IM (fainting): *swoon* *thud*
CP : Get some Chinese smelling salts quick!
Aide (sarcastically): Thank god you people spare the Tiger’s feces.
CP (proudly): We use it too! It is called Chinese Smelling Salts.
IM (sitting up bolt upright): I am suddenly feeling better. I think I need to lie down…in my bed at home in New Delhi.
IM (wild eyed): Now what!!
CP (smiling gently): You cannot leave without a souvenir!!!
IM (miserably): I will not ask what it is.
CP: We have a Tiger nail locket and a Tiger Skin coat made especially for you.
IM: I shall not faint. I shall not faint. I shall not faint.
Aide: You better not! *snicker*
IM (faintly): Thank you Premier. This has been a most fruitful discussion. Bye!
According to a Press Release by the Foreign Ministry, the talks failed due to "miss-communication". The next round of talks will be held in Chinese.
Have a nice week folks! An enjoy da music - Fireflies