There is a species of people on Bengaluru roads that requires me to immediately buy an AK 47 or Kalashnikov and or a hand held rocket launcher!! And if I cannot procure the aforementioned weaponry then I am gonna settle for my mother’s Vakkathi *!! I am that pissed off!!
And if I cannot get a Vakkathi then I might in desperation have to take my eyebrow tweezers to poke these people in the eye!!!
Now if you are rolling your eyes wondering why I am frothing in the mouth on a foul Monday morning then hear me out. There is this species of homo sapiens in Bengaluru who consider themselves the self appointed guardians of bike headlights! They live and breathe bike headlights and they get pained to see one burning during daytime. Their aim in life is to spot a burning headlight and inform the rider no matter what the circumstance. If they were to spot a Formula One car with its headlights on, they would jump into the race track risking their life and limbs to inform the driver. I guess they were born that way.
Mother (to her six month old baby): Say “mama” sweetheart! There’s a good boy!
Baby: Your bike headlight is on!
Now you see what I am up against?
Let me describe this species for you. They are mostly pedestrians and come in all age group, sizes gender and ethnicity. While their intentions are good their mode of communication is rather dramatic and its after effects catastrophic!
The moment these people spot a burning headlight they go stiff, their hair stands on one end, eyes pop out of the socket and they get that horrified look on their faces as though they are witnessing an alien baby bursting out of your stomach! And thats not all! They will then lift a quivering finger and point to you gesticulating wildly with the other hand making you lose control of the bike in absolute fright! And if you don’t get a heart attack looking at them, you will definitely come under a BMTC bus, lorry, army truck or Hoysala! And if you are lucky and escape coming under the aforementioned vehicles then you jam your brakes in fright so hard, that the resultant traffic pile up has a cascading effect till the new Bangalore Airport!!
It doesn’t matter to our guardian angels that you almost lost your life and limb because of their concern for the headlight. As far as they are concerned...BIKE HEADLIGHTS SHOULD NOT BE ON DURING DAYTIME!!!
Now if you see a girl in a black Honda Activa with a big knife jutting out of her hand bag, stay clear. And if you want her to continue blogging, please depose on her behalf in court. They don’t provide Internet connection in jail, especially for prisoners on death row I heard.
*really big knife!