The times around us are a changing, or they have changed. And we who sit and work in glass houses are not aware of the passing of time in the world outside. Or so I feel sometimes. An incident that happened the other day reinforced the belief.
Location: M.G Road, Bangalore.
Protagonists: Three olde friends, Amit, Alok, a very handsome mallu dude John Abraham and Yours Truly (all names changed except Amit, Alok and Yours Truly’s)
Antagonists: Three other people who thought they were the Protagonists: Read on and you will know.
Amit is getting married. Amit, Alok and John Abraham, decide to go shopping for the wedding with the expert advice and counseling of Yours Truly. Yours truly was drafted in so that the bride to be doesn’t walk out of the vivaah pandal in a huff when she sees the horrible sherwani the dulha has landed up in.
Pandit performing the wedding ritual: Kanya ko lao!
Bride: Nahiiiin! Yeh shaadi nahin ho sakthi!!
Bride’s parents: *gasp*
Bridegrooms parents: *gasp*
Pandit: Kyon beti?
Bride (pointing an accusing finger at the groom) : Look at his Sherwani!!!!
Yours Truly is late as usual and Amit and Alok go inside this designer boutique. John Abraham hangs around outside admiring the statuesque female mannequin’s on display in the showcase. He is unable to tear his eyes away from a particularly hot plastic number who is wearing a diaphanous saree and nothing else….inside. He is oblivious to the hustle and bustle and noise and activity of M.G Road behind him.
Unknown to John Abraham *input uneasy music here*, he was being keenly observed by an excited gaggle of very interested eyes. As they blushed and giggled and debated amongst themselves on the best way possible to approach him, sweep him off his feet and then live happily ever after…the spoiler, the villain of the piece, the haddi mein kabab a.k.a Yours Truly, lands up at the scene. She takes one look at John, clicks her tongue in disapproval at the vital learning experience that he is missing and drags him protesting into the Boutique. She isn’t letting him off the shopping hook.
Consternation, heart break, chagrin, rage and seething jealousy amongst John’s pretty admirers. Before the very handsome mallu dude and Yours Truly could truly comprehend what was happening, an admirer of John walks brusquely past, deliberately brushing against Yours Truly! Yours truly takes off in great speed on a trajectory towards the road and John, Amit and Alok, now out of the boutique manage to catch her before she falls on the busy road. Yours truly is shaken and stirred and very bemused. The guys are incensed.
A quick assessment of the situation and Yours Truly starts rolling on the kerb laughing her guts out. The men are not amused. Then Amit starts giggling, followed by Alok. Soon both join me on the kerb. John is seething with rage.
The reason? *drum rolls* The person who had tried to kill Yours Truly was a young guy!!!
Summary of the plot: The jealousy of the male sex of alternative sexuality is no different from that of us gals. Cho chweeeet!!!
Welcome to the sistahood bro! *hugs* :p
p.s Nowadays when the protagonists get together, Yours Truly sports a tee that says “He is not my boyfriend” with an arrow pointing either side. One never knows which side John Abrahm will walk on. I am not taking any more chances with my life and limb brrr
(Johnny boy. I know you are reading this muahahAHAHAHAHA!!! And to you and your Valentines, I dedicate the best song in the world, the ultimate romance number. Yenjoy!!!!)