Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Good tidings!!

Hola peoples!!! Hope you all had a joyous Christmas. I bring tidings of great joy for consumers this winter what with the PC Manufacturers and Computer Stores Association announcing massive celebratory discounts this season. Consumers are going to be spoilt for choice this winter. You will be running hither and thither and from one shop to another trying to make up your mind. Go get ‘em tigers and get home that perfect machine to make your computing experience more pleasurable.

According to a Press Release by the Association, the HP Pavilion 735243558686 TWINKLETWINKLELITTLESTAR3456 is selling like hot cakes this winter. Yet another pleasant surprise awaits the consumers this winter when the Lenovo 4563483 ONETWOBUCKLEMYSHOE 00567 hits the shelves at massive discounted rates. Of course if you were to consider the HP Pavilion 235000 GEORGIEPODGYPUDDINGNPIE 2345 you will notice that it has better features and even better options of spending monies on enhancements. But my personal favourite is the IBM 45627389585 THREEFOURSHUTTHEDOOR00001 that is supposed to be superior to HP Pavilion 235 MARYHADALITTLELAMB2345 and Lenovo 4563483 OWATADAMPSQUIB900 though not as advanced that the Compaq 1111111000000 OWATACRAP PC. It has a multimedia keyboard and a wireless mouse 57684949 RATPOSION007 though there is an option of choosing between a 57684949 JERRYMOUSE0054637 or a 57684949 MICKYMOUSEN1111 for a nominal charge.

The Dell Inspiron Notebook JACKNJILLWENTUPTHEHILL E1705 is a good buy this season, though it’s latest versions TOFETCHAPAILOFWATER E1720 and GODKNOWSWHATTHEYDIDUPTHERE E1721 and THEYCAMEDOWNWITHADAUGHTER E1722 gives you instants savings. Besides this offer is combined with a FREE head massage!

Keyboards have also gone hitech this year. The Microsoft Comfort Curve Keyboard Wireless Optical RIDINGDIRTY456373828 and the Microsoft Optical Desktop Elite for Bluetooth WHITENNERDY777723 are sure fire winners with consumers this year what with the heavy discounts the company is offering for the season.

And there is more good news for computers buyers this winter. Consumers who are planning on buying TFT monitors, rejoice!!!! The choice available for sale this year will leave you shaking your head in disbelief!! The 17 inch 567777 HITHERETOBREAKGLASS64546 delivers great features at very reasonable rates though you could go for the 18 inch 13333 FRAGILEGLASSTHISSIDEUP64546 at no extra cost. The features are almost the same except that the 18 inch 13333 FRAGILEGLASSTHISSIDEUP64546 is slightly more complicated to remember and hence the price has been kept the same as the17 inch 567777 HITHERETOBREAKGLASS64546 . The latest buzz in the TFT monitor scene is the 22 inch 13333xivvv DRIVEINCINEMA64546!!! This comes in a choice of four colors, gray, dull gray, duller grey and dullest grey. Besides consumers who remember it’s name and number when the warranty Period is over, will be given a free holiday to Goa.

Oh yes, in order to speed up sales and deal with the rush consumers are advised to state the EXACT details of the items that they are buying.

For example if you are buying the LENOVO THINKPAD then please specify all details like the alphabets and numbers correctly to the salespeople for example:

1. THINKPAD 567000956 FLATSTOMACH9000xxx
2. THINKPAD 22222272X WASHBOARDABS9000iillx

The Association warns that they will not be held responsible if you order a PC or a peripheral etc. and are delivered a Hummer. Please note in case of such a transaction you will have to pay up the excess price for the Hummer, Drain Pipe Cleaner, Commode Brush, Antiaircraft Missiles, Rottweiler, AIRBUS A380 or any other item that gets delivered to your doorstep due to the errors in your orders that you are solely responsible for. Delivery charges extra. In some countries, items like Antiaircraft Missiles may be prohibited, in which case you will have to pay for storage and godown charges. The Association will keep the said item for approximately 90 days after which it will be auctioned off to the highest bidder in the Kashmir valley.

Happy shopping everyone!!!

19 comments:

Fleiger said...

Ouch... it seems somebody went gift-shopping during christmas ;)

Vimal said...

Someone is planning to buy a PC?
What about processor, graphics card, mother board etc? :)

Regular reader, first time commenting. Keep up the good work.

Alexis Leon said...

Really hilarious one. How much did the PC manufactures and CSA pay you for the publicity?

Happy New Year...

naan said...

Frankly, this is probably the first of your posts which I couldn't make myself read beyond the 2nd para.

After working in COBOL for 2 years, I have developed an allergy for anything in caps, except on a black and green scrren..

Chacko said...

Interesting observation, anyway this is the time for me to get a laptop...

Iyer Education said...

i managed to read between the lines... er... post... and i liked all the lil nursery rhymes..

wow... i am next to robert langdon in cracking codes now :)

Anonymous said...

Hilarious post!! :-))

May the new year give you –

* Independence of Java
* Power of Unix
* Popularity of Windows
* Extensibility of J2EE
* Luxury of .Net
* Efficiency of C
* Ease of VB
* Robustness of Oracle
* Vision of UML
* Simplicity of HTML
* Style of Mac
* Dexterity of Photoshop
* Enormity of 3D Max
* Vastness of Internet
* Compactness of JPG
* Richness of BMP
* Coverage as Yahoo
* Reach of Google
* Prudence of Froogle
* Security of Norton & McAfee
* Intelligence of Unreal
* Realism of Max Payne
* Speed of NFS
* Fun of RoadRash
* Intelligence of Chessmaster
* Impression of Quake3
* And the Goodness of all Software that comes for free... ;-)

Happy New Year A!!!

Unni Alex

SP said...

I am sitting in office laughing away and since you mentioned my company I just had to share this with some of my colleagues here :-)

silverine said...

Fleiger: No I was reacting to the ads in the papers :)

vimal: *ouch* don't make it more painful :)

Alexis: Thank you :) They are after my blood now :)

naan: Frankly I didn't understand your comment!

chacko: Yeah, the deals are really good this season!

iyer education: that was no code, but the infernal numbers and alaphabets that are used to seperate computers with different configurations :)

Unni Alex: thank you, wish you the same :)

SP: he he lets go shopping together when I get back, it will be fun pretending to be dumb :P

Fleiger said...

If this is you reacting to ads, I shudder to think what would happen after shopping spree? I think you would put all of them in a locked concrete bunker with Himmesh "crooning" full volume, right?

Sanjay said...

Hey I thought you said the next post was due in feb. I had got meself mentally tuned for a long break. This I had planned to spend with a thesaurus and dictionary to hepl me understand some of the BIG words I come across here.
Alas; the posts and the big words are back!!!! What on earth is a: GODKNOWSWHATTHEYDIDUPTHERE ??

aqua said...

I will go for the Dell Inspiron Notebook THEYCAMEDOWNWITHADAUGHTER E1722!! Yet another 'thamashaniranja' post..

Happy New Year!

Jay Sun said...

Interesting post...different...

btw, i don't mind being delivered a Hummer...but do i have to pay up the excess price? :)

Puchu said...

Hilarious stuff!!! Good post !!! I, like most people, am totally at sea when it comes to such obscure configuration names. I have a similar problem when it comes to cellphones. Everybody comes up with some weird number. And you just cant make any sense out of them. If you ever assume that higher the number the better is the configuration, you are in for it.
So now, when anyone says "I bought a cellphone", I dont see any point in asking "Which model?", its better to ask "How light is your wallet now ?" and then make sense of how complicated the stuff is... :)

Nariyal Chutney said...

Hilarious! Just like JACKANDJILLWENTUPTHEHILL :-D . But wonder how many people will make out from the names .

Jeseem said...

I would like to order a custom built LAPTOP, sleek and slim.
with good looks and 'no mother' board. with a fast processor.

and ofcourse please send me best and priciest one, since silverline is footing the bill anyway.

thank you silverline

Rekhi said...

really funny!!! :-))

Rekhi

silverine said...

fleiger: Now don't invoke the sadist in me, I might just do it! :))

Sanjay: God knows!! That's what I am trying to figure, what those blessed numbers and alphabets are :P

acqua: Spot on dude...you got the name, the no and the brand right!!! :))

jay sun: You have to pay the excess price as a punishment for not getting the number and alphabet after the brand name right!!! :)

puchu: It is sooo annoying isn't it? :) Wonder why they make it so complicated!!!

nariyal chutney: The newspapers are flooded with offers but it is so confusing with those alphabets and numbers! :)

jeseem: tsk tsk you should state the exact model you want :p

rekhi: Thank you :)

mathew said...

Lol!!..nice take on the brand names..Infact had a tough time buying a camera when the marketing guy put up all fundas about..optical zoom..digital aperture..ah..too much info can make life difficult as well..eh..

:-D