Monday, November 28, 2011

The unsung ungeniouses

We were having coffee with Genius at the cafeteria. We call him Genius for a reason. You will see why very soon. Sunitha, a manager was musing aloud that her male subordinates seemed to have some problems with her because she was a lady manager. Genius who overheard this remark interrupted her with a “No, no no!!!” accompanied by a violent shaking of his head from side to side in disagreement.

‘Well…” started Sunitha defensively, “I am just talking aloud here….”

“No, no, no!” said Genius shaking his head again. He looked like a toy that had jammed its internal mechanism causing it to rotate its head from shoulder to shoulder till the battery ran out. Finally he paused, to our relief and said “It is not like that Sunitha. They don’t have a problem with you being a lady. It is just your perception.”

“What do you mean?” asked Sunitha intrigued.

“See our country manager…what his name…” mused Genius scratching his head.

“Ramakrishnan!” I offered.

"Yes! Ramakrishnan!" he repeated needlessly.

"He is a guy isn’t he!” he asked animatedly. We nodded in affirmation.

“Is there any lady in this organization having problems with him because he is a male manager!”

And then he leaned back in his chair and watched us in bewilderment as we got up and banged our heads against the wall. Genius still hasn't figured out why people react this way after he has answered their queries with his astounding logic.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Salary woes

Secret diary of a first time employee in my company.

Dear Diary,

Today I got my first salary. I am now bankrupt. Amma said I must give my first salary to the temple. Now I have no money but it doesn’t matter as I have borrowed from my colleague to get through this month.

Dear Diary,

Today I got my second salary. I am bankrupt again. Amma says I must buy something for Grandma and Grandpa, Uncles, Aunts, Nephews, Nieces, and Cousins etc. Thank god Tea and Coffee is free in my office.

Dear Diary,

I got my third salary today. Today I had to treat my school friends, college friends, hostel friends, Cricket club friends etc. I will borrow again to get through this month.

Dear Diary,

Living on bananas and bread is tiring. But I cannot afford proper food yet. This month I have to go to our ancestral village and feed people at our ancestral temple. That will be my first proper meal in two months.

Dear Diary,

I got my fourth salary today. I have nothing left after paying for the money I borrowed for the first month. So I am applying for a Credit Card.

Dear Diary,

I am in hiding.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Creative dead ends

Take a look at this outdoor advertisement for a leading cement brand. What do you think the security guard is trying to say?

1. Look! I can lean sideways!
2. Look! My left hand is bigger than my right hand.
3. Look at me you stupid elephant!
4. Jazz hands!!!!
5. All of the above.

Now look at the elephant. What do you think it is thinking?

1. If I ignore him, maybe he will go away.
2. Hope he leans a little further and falls down hehehe
3. Moron!
4. I need to change my agent. This is the stupidest advertisement ever.
5. All of the above.

What do you think the adman was thinking when he made this ad?

1. *blank*
2. *blank*
3. *blank*
4. This has to be my worst work ever!
5. All of the above

Those of you who chose No 5, clap your hands, you just won yourself the reassurance that you are still sane. The rest I am sorry to inform, have successfully been brainwashed into drooling zombies by our advertising agencies. Have a nice day!